The one thing I’ve learned in the last year is that dogs love peanut butter. If you put it on a spoon and give it to them they will be your best friend for life, or at least until you give them another spoonful. However, a man in Texas loves dogs so much he said “Fuck the spoon!” and covered his entire naked body (except for a skimpy gold speedo around his Snausages area) in delicious peanut butter then gave the bitches a treat by strutting around inside a public dog park. That sounds like the beginning of a highly illegal bestiality orgy porn or a highly illegal dog-eating-human snuff film.
ABC Dallas affiliate WFAA says that Steven Shrout recently lost a fantasy football bet by coming in dead last and was faced with two options: either hand over $250 or perform a humiliating act. Obviously it was an off-pay week for Steven because he chose to slather himself completely in peanut butter and walk through a local dog park.
“I said, ‘That’s not a big challenge.’ No one believed me, they’re like, ‘No way is he going to do it,'” Shrout said.
Well, last Wednesday Shrout arrived at Bark Park Central in Deep Ellum, threw on a speedo, slathered three jars of creamy Jif peanut butter onto his body, and walked into the park.
“My strategy was to do it as fast as possible, and hope that not many people would see me,” Shrout said.
Spoiler alert: A lot of people did.
“There was a couple who walked by me down the sidewalk, they both said ‘EWW’ and walked by so fast after that,” Shrout said with a laugh.
Steven’s friends filmed the act from far away because the only time it’s OK to be seen with the guy covered in peanut butter if you’re covered in jelly and you’re both on your way to a food themed Halloween orgy. However, Steven’s friends didn’t let him humiliate himself for too long.
Shrout’s friends took pity on him and let him leave after just 5 minutes.
But the pictures people took got a lot of attention on Reddit and Instagram.
“It went pretty viral,” Shrout said. “More viral than I thought it would go.”
“I think my favorite comment was, ‘Lost bet equals “This is my kinky fetish,”‘ and I said, ‘Absolutely not.’ That made me laugh really hard.”
But most of the comments praised Shrout’s dedication.
“There were some people who told me that it was the funniest thing they’ve ever seen,” Shrout said.
I’m hoping that Steven used creamy peanut butter instead of chunky because this prank could have gone all the way left had those dogs began chomping on some extra hidden nuts. Check out the prank below and take this as a precautionary tale to never play fantasy football unless you’re playing to win.