Somebody Beheaded P. Diddy’s Wax Figure

February 18, 2019 / Posted by:

Someone out there really hates P. Diddy because the New York Post is reporting that one amongst us took the time out of our weekend to go to Madame Tussauds Wax Museum in Manhattan and knock his statue to the goddamn floor. Vengeance was had! …Or something. The motive here is unclear but the fact remains there is one less creepy, lifelike wax figure in the world.

The Post says that a man walked into Madame Tussauds a little before 9:00pm on Saturday. What was this guy doing at prime going-out time on the weekend? He was up to some good old-fashioned mischief.

The man, described by police as white or Hispanic in his 20s or 30s, made a beeline for the 9th floor where P. Diddy’s statue sleeps. He then went right up to that waxy bitch and shoved its ass to the floor, which caused the “head to come loose from” the statue. Video shows the man dipping from the scene as soon as the crime was committed and they are now on the lookout for the villain, as he caused $300,000 worth of damage.

The gag is: this person must have known what they were doing because P. Diddy was obsessed with his wax figure and took the 2009 creation “very seriously”. Apparently “his personal barber of years, Curtis ‘The Barber,’ was even consulted in creating the mock-up.” He even dressed the statue in the outfit he wore in his ad for his fragrance “I Am King” and he also made sure the people at the museum had his fragrance on hand to spray that stupid wax figure and make it smell like him! So they really hit P. Diddy where it hurts: himself.

Who wants make guesses on who did this? I think an obvious choice would be a goon hired by those Danity Kane girls who all exposed Diddy as a sexist narcissist (is it “exposed” if we already been knew?). But you know who my money’s on? Brother Love! P. Diddy’s short-lived alter-ego has come back to haunt him after only being allowed to exist for 24-hours. Brother Love lives! He will not be pushed aside and he will take from you until he is recognized!


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