Hot Slut Of The Day!
Winky, the true star and champion of this year’s Westminster!
This story is over a week old, which is (insert Larry King’s age) in internet years, but since it’s President’s Day (which some of us are ignoring since we refuse to acknowledge having a president at this time) and some of you have been forced to work and are doing the least while looking like you’re doing the most, let’s pay homage to your hero: WINKY!
To me, Bichons should be spending their day sitting on the pastel-colored lap of their old queen owner trying to catch pieces of bacon falling off of their human’s fork while at brunch in Palm Springs, or they should be nipping at the salesperson while their old rich lady owner tries on gold bracelets at Neiman Marcus in Palm Beach. They shouldn’t be doing any kind of serious physical activity, but that’s exactly what Winky was forced to do by a human, and he completely gave it his all if his all was made up of zero fucks.
Winky competed during the agility competition at Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show two Sundays ago, and many of his competitors probably thought that he got lost and accidentally wandered in from the beauty pageant portion of Westminster. But bitch proved that he’s not just a cotton ball of beauty and glamour, he’s also a masterful comedian and a pro at taking his damn sweet fucking time. The goal of the agility competition is to do it in the fastest time without any fuck-ups (or if you’re former HSOTD Ollie, do it in the fastest time with as many fuck-ups as possible). Winky wasn’t about to mess up his look with sweat, so he casually sashayed through the course like Lauryn Hill walking to the stage when she’s already 4 hours late. Winky also made sure to stop and pose for his adoring fans as much as possible. A generous STAR!
HuffPo says that Winky finished the course in 192 seconds with 92 faults. That wasn’t the fastest time by far, but the judges gave Winky thousands of extra points for charisma and style, which won him the title! No, some dog named Verb won with a time of 32.05 seconds.
But Winky was the real winner, because nobody’s even talking about Verb. So while Verb is sitting with his trophy as his human rubs BenGay on his legs, all of the shine is going to Winky. Oh, Verb, don’t hate Winky because he’s beautiful and doesn’t give a fuck. Actually, do hate him for that, because that’s why he’s getting all the attention!
Pic: Twitter