Variety is reporting that last night at the Grammy Awards, Belcalis Almanzar aka Cardi B, became a big winner. And I don’t mean because she managed to get that mutant threeway Disney baby of Ursula from The Little Mermaid, Babette from Beauty and the Beast and Yzma from The Emperor’s New Groove out of the Thierry Mugler archive to waddle down the red-carpet in. Cardi also became the first solo woman in Grammys history to win the award for Best Rap Album.
Bacardi Cardi got emotional after hearing her album Invasion Of Privacy called as the winner for Best Rap Album, beating rappers Nipsey Hussle, Pusha T, Travis Scott and Mac Miller (RIP). Cardi got up on stage with her on-again-husband, Offset, and said this:
“The nerves are so bad. Maybe I need to start smoking weed.”
So relatable. Minus that whole, 45% tax thing. She also thanked her daughter Kulture for the award, since if she hadn’t gotten accidentally pregnant and had to power through her album, it might not be the banger it is today:
“I want to thank my daughter… I’m not just saying thank you because she’s my daughter. It’s because, you know, when I found out I was pregnant, my album was not complete, like three songs that I was for sure having. And then you know, you know how it was, we was like, we have to get this album done so I could still do videos while I’m still not showing. And it was very long nights.”
Technically the first woman to win Best Rap Album was Lauryn Hill back in 1997, who won as a member of the hip-hop group Fugees, alongside Wyclef Jean and Pras Michel. But Cardi is the first solo woman to ever take home the trophy.
Cut to Nicki Minaj in the Queen Radio studio cry-screaming over an endless barrage of gunshot sound effects. Can’t wait for Cardi B to come out with her own line of online merch with the slogan “Cardi B Stole My Grammy”.
Here’s Cardi looking a rejected 1920s Disney villainess while doing Money last night>
— VINI ?? (@Viniciuslamegoo) February 11, 2019
And here’s Cardi B walking the red carpet with Offset while dressed up as a slutty oyster-hooker: