Open Post: Hosted By La Lucci Taking A Tumble

February 8, 2019 / Posted by:

Hasn’t La Lucci been through enough?!!?!

The universe can go tongue fuck a sloppy ass, because it has not been good to flawless human diamond Susan Lucci lately. First, we were at risk of the sun never coming out again, because the sun only comes out to gaze upon La Lucci and she almost died last year! Second, she graciously volunteered her precious time by walking in a fashion show for the American Heart Association’s Go Red for Women charity, which she’s a spokesperson for, and La Lucci nearly broke her La Cucci when she went BOOM on the catwalk. The universe must be a Days of Our Lives fan.

Every year, the American Heart Association does a fashion show during New York Fashion Week where famous women model red dresses made by various designers. La Lucci slathered her 20 pound body with 50 pounds of fabric put together by designer Rubin Singer and sashayed down the runway. Usually when the 19-time Emmy winner (yes, in my mind she won all those Emmys) sashays down a catwalk, others fall back, but this time she was the one who fell. But being the professional that she is, she got back up and continued to sashay.

Sources tell me (no, they didn’t) that afterward, Rubin Singer, the makers of those shoes, and the people responsible for constructing that catwalk were arrested and charged with endangering an international treasure. That demonic dress and those demonic shoes have since been imprisoned in that Conjuring room of dark-sided shit.

Here’s more of La Lucci, as well as others who also walked last night’s show, including Winnie Cooper, Padma Lakshmi, Eve, and Bo Derek with a living cotton ball.


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