Liam Neeson Thought It’d Be A Great Idea To Admit He Once Wanted To Murder A Random Black Man In Revenge

February 4, 2019 / Posted by:

If you go out for a stroll today and spot someone furiously digging a hole, don’t worry, it’s just Liam Neeson’s publicist trying to dig to a place far, far away where there’s no cell phone reception and so their iPhone won’t blow up with calls asking about the stream of fuckery that came out of his mouth during an interview.

Liam is currently selling his new movie Cold Pursuit, a rom-com where he plays a jolly and happy man who tries to woo an ice cream maker. No, of course not. Liam doesn’t get out of bed for a movie that isn’t about an angry dad getting revenge, so Cold Pursuit is about an angry dad getting revenge. Liam and his co-star Tom Bateman were doing an interview with Clémence Michallon of The Independent and while talking about REVENGE, his brain sent a message to his mouth that said: Hey, tell that story about the time you wanted to get revenge by living out some racist murder fantasy. That’s a great one to tell!

Liam starts by saying that this happened a while ago, and he had just returned to Ireland from a trip to find out that someone close to him was raped. Liam immediately asked her if she knew him and what was the color of his skin.

“She handled the situation of the rape in the most extraordinary way. But my immediate reaction was…” There’s a pause. “I asked, did she know who it was? No. What colour were they? She said it was a black person.”

So Liam decided to do a real-life reboot of Death Wish starring himself, and walked the streets with a cosh (that’s slang for heavy stick). No, Liam wasn’t trying to find her rapist. He was hoping that while walking the streets, a random black man would fuck with him so that he could kill that random black man in retaliation for something a totally different person did. This story is brought to you by the letters T-H-E-F-U-C-K.

“I went up and down areas with a cosh, hoping I’d be approached by somebody – I’m ashamed to say that – and I did it for maybe a week, hoping some [Neeson gestures air quotes with his fingers] ‘black bastard’ would come out of a pub and have a go at me about something, you know? So that I could,” another pause, “kill him.”

It took me a week, maybe a week and a half, to go through that. She would say, ‘Where are you going?’ and I would say, ‘I’m just going out for a walk.’ You know? ‘What’s wrong?’ ‘No no, nothing’s wrong.’”

Because Liam probably figured that we’d all picture his basement filled with the bodies of random people he killed in retaliation for other people’s crimes, he said that his thoughts were awful.

“It was horrible, horrible, when I think back, that I did that. And I’ve never admitted that, and I’m saying it to a journalist. God forbid. It’s awful. But I did learn a lesson from it, when I eventually thought, ‘What the fuck are you doing,’ you know?”

As Clémence and Tom felt a dozen waves of WTF swirl around their brains, Liam went on to talk more about revenge and how he understands nothing good comes from it.

“I come from a society – I grew up in Northern Ireland in the Troubles – and, you know, I knew a couple of guys that died on hunger strike, and I had acquaintances who were very caught up in the Troubles, and I understand that need for revenge, but it just leads to more revenge, to more killing and more killing, and Northern Ireland’s proof of that. All this stuff that’s happening in the world, the violence, is proof of that, you know. But that primal need, I understand.”

After this interview went everywhere and Liam was hit with a backlash, The Independent released the audio, which sounds like it came from the worst Taken movie ever.

I’m surprised that Clémence didn’t nervously try to change the subject by saying, “So, err, ummmm, speaking of a cosh, just how big is your dick?


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