Fashion legend and salty bitch Karl Lagerfeld died yesterday, and I think it may be the only time we ever see Anna Wintour shed a tear since she’s now the undisputed Queen B of fashion. Oh, wait. Choupette is still alive. Better luck next time, Anna. Most celebs did what celebs do best, and that’s to use a death to show off themselves rocking a certain lewk and casually mention how devastated they are in a mild tone-deaf caption – but not Jameela Jamil!
She used Karl’s death day to say she wouldn’t be wasting any minutes mourning someone who once called Adele fat and said Kim Kardashian only had herself to blame for her Parisian robbery. Cara Delevingne, a Chanel muse, then had to wade in and defend Kunty Karl.
As you sit there, comfortable in your pampered existence, never forget that there’s a whole other world of pain, turmoil and danger up #inthesestreets. Well, to be more exact, up #ontheseslopes. Gwyneth Paltrow knows better than anyone about the dangers of the dog-eat-dog world of recreational skiing, especially since she got slapped with a lawsuit by a man who accused her of skiing into him on the mean slopes of Park City, Utah. Now Gwyneth is taking justice into her own hands by enacting what is called a “Connecticut Drive-by“. Gwyneth is counter-suing Dr. Terry Sanderson, claiming that it was he who skied into her! And she’s digging the knife in even further by pulling a Randolph and Mortimer Duke on him and asking for retribution in the sum of $1, according to TMZ.
If I had matched the Beatles record by getting three top three songs on the Billboard Hot 100, you can bet my ass would spend a night blowing my latest royalty check on booze, poutine, and, uh, entertainment at one of Montreal’s finest male strip clubs. In the case of Ariana Grande, she celebrated with a two-hour chat with society’s perennial butt wart, Piers Morgan. Despite their earlier feminist/nudity beef, these two actually seem to be getting along. Gag.
Lady Gaga will probably be hitting the red carpet at this Sunday’s upcoming Academy Awards minus one because her engagement to talent agent Christian Carino is over, though it may have been a done deal long before the official announcement was made yesterday by one of Gaga’s reps. However this entire relationship was frowned upon with side eyes and sighs because those closest to the ex-couple had a feeling that it wouldn’t last very long.
Why’d the Russian dog cross the road? To get to the Faberge egg on the other side! Ok, I’ll let myself out. It was really snowy in the city of Chelyabinsk, Russia, the other day, but a local pup still had shit to do.
People Magazine’s least sexy Sexist Man Alive, Blake Shelton, offered his ex-wife Miranda Lambert some subtle front porch country shade (with a side of extra tart lemonade) when asked about her recent marriage to the “love of her life”, 28-year old NYPD cop Brendan McLoughlin. Brendan and Miranda have only been married for less than a month which, frankly, is longer than a lot of people probably expected. They’ve only known each other 3 months and he has an infant child with a woman his ex-fiance’s mom claims he cheated with. According to People, Blake’s been reduced to speaking only in country music cliches, a source claims “he put Miranda in his rear view mirror long ago”, presumably followed by something about dirt roads, Chevy trucks, and his dog riding shotgun (Gwen has to ride in the back).