Well it was bound to happen sooner or later. Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper are remaking A Star Is Born yet again, only this time Gaga is the grizzled old-timer and B. Coop is the ingénue. Over the weekend at her Las Vegas residency, Lady Gaga brought the spry, ball-capped Cooper kid out onstage to help her sing Shallow. And by “help” I mean warble out a few notes while she performs mock fellatio then banishes him to the end of the piano with the instructions: “stare at me adoringly while I spasm with ecstasy but don’t make eye contact you peasant”. And honestly, this is the only version of ASIB that interests me in the least.
If you’ve ever wondered if the song’s title is actually about Gaga’s fellatio technique, you have your proof starting at about the 1:08 mark.
Why is B. Coop playing air guitar like he immediately regretted picking this at karaoke when he saw how long the “instrumental break” was? I will say, I do appreciate Gaga’s (literal) nod to Janice from Electric Mayhem when she goes off on that infernal yodel. I’d also like to know who I should see about this fucking song growing on me. I need a Shallow biopsy, STAT! According to Billboard, this was the first time the two have performed Shallow together since the movie came out. And Shallow may be one of only two songs nominated for an Academy Award for Best Original Song that will be performed on the Oscars’ broadcast. Based on how well this “duet” went, I wouldn’t be surprised if Gaga petitions the academy to let her fly solo. If they are going to do it, they better get to rehearsing! Bradley looks about as useless as a designer harness on a red carpet up there.