Hot Slut Of The Day!

January 24, 2019 / Posted by:

Bad Chiitan, the evil mascot of Susaki City in southern Japan!

Only in Japan could the dramatic soap opera storyline tool of “bad twin/good twin” star a real-life otter and two otter mascots! The New York Times earned itself another Pulitzer with their saga of the Tale of Three Susaki Otters! This story has it all: otters, plushies, political drama, sabotage, an evil twin, and a villainess in a smiley-face turtle hat!

It took me approximately four hours to unknot my brain after it knotted up while figuring out the players of this story, so let me try to help you out. Here are the players:

Chiitan (who we’ll call Good Chiitan) is a real-life otter.

The other Chiitan (who we’ll call Bad Chiitan) is an unofficial plushie mascot of Susaki City and is based on Good Chiitan.

Shinjokun is the official plushie mascot of Susaki City and is based on an extinct river otter (not Good Chiitan).

This story starts with Good Chiitan, who was getting so much love on social media (the otter has almost 500,000 Twitter followers) that Susaki named her their official tourism ambassador. At the time, the city had an official mascot in Shinjokun. This is Shinjokun being all happy and welcoming while flashing his Kelly Ripa belly dick button and trying to pass off a bowl of noodles as a wig.

Shinjokun’s obviously got his own issues (see: his noodle wig), but the real problems started when the designers who made him also made Bad Chiitan, who like I said above, is based on the real-life Chiitan. This is Bad Chiitan:

Don’t let those innocent coy eyes and sweet smile fool you. Bitch is evil. She obviously killed a pink turtle, decapitated it, and replaced its head with a smiley face. Bad Chiitan got herself a Twitter account and began posting videos of her causing chaos in town. Here she is getting sucked off by a goat in public:

Here she is trying to kill flies with a weed-whacker:

Here she is hiding a bat in her UGGs-looking legs (an obvious sign that she’s Lucifer’s child) before coming to your house:

Here she is pushing over a van:

Bad Chiitan is not a sanctioned mascot, but many citizens of the city thought she was. So the city got over one hundred complaints about the videos. The city responded with a move that was sponsored by WTF. They decided not to renew Good Chiitan’s contract as tourism ambassador to distance themselves from Bad Chiitan. This further confused people:

But posts about Chiitan being “fired” (the mascot and the real otter have the same name) have since gone viral on social media, incorrectly implying that the city had officially sanctioned the rogue mascot’s cheeky antics.

As of today, Bad Chiitan is still being a mess on social media. Shinjokun is still Susaki’s official mascot. And Good Chiitan is out of a job.

Bad Chiitan is now up there with Alexis Carrington, Dominique Deveraux, Dorian Lord, and Tanya Turner, as one of my favorite soap opera villains. And bitch ain’t even in a soap opera! I mean, she impersonated her real-life sister, cost her sister a job, is getting more attention than her rival Shinjokun, and does sex in public. An icon!

Pic: Twitter

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