You know, it wasn’t that long ago former first lady Michelle Obama was trying desperately to assist in healthier eating habits for all Americans. That said, I’m sure when she heard the news that Donald Trump served cold, greasy fast food during a White House dinner for the visiting national college football champion Clemson Tigers, it took every security detail around to hold her back from rolling up on him and cursing him out for undoing all of her work.
On Monday morning, Trump spoke during a press conference about the Tigers’ upcoming visit and he immediately let everyone know that he is the Hostess with the Mostess when it comes to serving delicious vittles at dinner parties. What he failed to include are the side effects of bubbleguts and potential sharts in the aftermath of consuming that processed mess.
And although the government is currently in a partial shutdown resulting in some White House workers being furloughed, most people didn’t take him seriously. I mean, it’s the White House. There’s got to be a box of macaroni, a few cans of tuna and Miracle Whip just waiting to be transformed into something magical. And even if not, Trump is still rich so clearly this has to be a joke. And it for a while it was…until he actually did it.
Here’s a video I shot of President Trump showing off his 300 hamburgers. pic.twitter.com/P06S6I5w07
— Hunter Walker (@hunterw) January 14, 2019
He looks so pleased with his decision, probably because he ordered to have the leftovers sent to his room for a late night snack after they left. And just so you’re aware this feast fit for Kings was comprised of burgers from some of your artery clogging favorites: McDonald’s, Wendy’s and Burger King.
Press Secretary Sarah Sanders spoke out about the president’s decision to serve these college kids a Happy Meal buffet of bullshit by blaming the Democrats:
“Because the Democrats refuse to negotiate on border security, much of the residence staff at the White House is furloughed—so the president is personally paying for the event to be catered with some of everyone’s favorite fast foods.”
In addition to the burgers, there were chicken nuggets, salads and a lovely display of Domino’s pizza and McDonald’s fries sitting underneath a heat lamp on a separate table. The grand total for all of this deliciousness comes in at just a little under $3,000. What the entire fuck? Is this really the best you could do with 3 Gs for the national champions? Don’t you know that as soon as any fast food burger gets cold it tastes like terrible life decisions topped with ketchup? And what boggles my mind even more is the fact that this dude has a property in Washington D.C. near the White House that’s home to BLT Prime by David Burke, which is a steakhouse. You mean to tell me you couldn’t have food from YOUR hotel shipped over for this meal? But not surprisingly, Trump thinks an awesome time was had by all.
Great being with the National Champion Clemson Tigers last night at the White House. Because of the Shutdown I served them massive amounts of Fast Food (I paid), over 1000 hamburgers etc. Within one hour, it was all gone. Great guys and big eaters!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 15, 2019
I think I’m going to go blind from the amount of eye rolling this story has brought into my life. This team put on suits, boarded a plane, and came all the way from South Carolina to eat some shit they passed by on their way to the airport. I am both embarrassed and annoyed for the entire team and the only saving grace for me would be if every last one of those athletes dropped a deuce in every bathroom without flushing. Because that kinda funk would have roamed the halls of the White House for the rest of the month.