There was lots of glamour, color, and levity on display on the red carpet for last night’s Critics’ Choice Awards. And I’m going to go ahead and give all the credit to Judith Light. Judith set the tone, and everybody else did their level best to match her energy. There was probably a panicked buzz of “Judith Light, Judith Light, Judith Light” spreading among Hollywood stylists when they realized she was going to be there, forcing everyone to step up their game. Nobody quite got there, but they tried and that’s what counts. Ultimately, posing through Christian Siriano-made polka dots the size of dinner plates, Judith put all the kids on blast. If Judith wanted to be a real pal, she should have given a posing tutorial before the red carpet. Some people could really have used the help (see after the cut).
Olivia Munn thought she had to chance to out polka Judith, Queen of Dots. But sadly, but her look ended up being more Bozo than Kusama. I wish she’d have leaned in to that aesthetic a little more and had a giant red clown shoe peeking out from the bottom of this dress.
Everybody knows who Carrot Top is, but have you heard of Grape Top, the newest prop comic on the scene? This look from Lakeith Stanfield checks all the boxes, and gets every answer WRONG. Velvet burgundy shoes? A belted blazer? Unkempt beard? Three Charlie Brown chest hairs poking out? Wrong, wrong, wrong, and wrong. I’d rather see whatever ‘90s satin tracksuit that hat goes with than risk my eyes getting stuck crossed like I’ve been wearing those Opti-Grabs from The Jerk looking at this outfit.
His face is perfect, but you know what they say, the devil is in the details. In the case of Cody Fern’s look, I’d say the devil is exclusively residing in those shoes. Does he have cloven hooves for real? This is some dark-sided shit. I know he played the Antichrist on American Horror Story: Apocalypse, so maybe that was his inspiration, but Beelzebub himself would recoil in horror at Vibram boots with a stacked heel. These shoes are so bad, I’m not even going to comment on the rest of this outfit, except to ask, who buys dry-clean only sheets? And then puts them in the dryer?! Take better care of your things, Cody!
Speaking of sheets, there were quite a few people who went the draped bed sheet route. Chrissy Teigen, Allison Janney, Lady Gaga, Billy Porter and Judy Greer (in a bedspread), all got their inspiration from Linens & More. It worked better for some than it did for others. One gal, Kirby Howell-Baptiste from Killing Eve, looked like she got herself in a little bit of a bind with a fitted sheet. Quick, somebody get Marie Kondo over here immediately before this poor girl chokes to death!
Here are more of the daring looks from the Critics’ Choice awards including Sandra Oh wearing my mom’s 1989 Ogilvie Home Perm, Darren Criss ready to embark on his Beige on Beige tour, Amy Adams as a prairie schoolmarm, and Nicole Kidman wearing a modified version of Manila Luzon’s rejected maxi-pad dress.