Hot Slut Of The Day!

December 29, 2018 / Posted by:

This commercial from 1989 for Corn Crisps from Pringles!

Pringles Corn Crisps sort of still exist today, but they’re called Pringles Loud and Pringles Tortilla Chips. But back in the late 1980s, they were called Corn Crisps and were pretty much Fritos in Pringles drag. And to promote Corn Crisps, Pringles blew their 80s load right before the greatest decade in the history of decades came to an end. They put out a commercial that’s like the beginning of a farm boy-themed porn.

The commercial starts out with a BelAmi-looking ass farm boy stroking an ear of corn, so you think shit is about to get gloriously gay, but that mood changes when some city girls in a Jeep drive up onto the scene. Another BelAmi-looking ass farm boy joins in, and they feed each other Corn Crisps. They all have a Corn Crisps orgy, pretty much. It doesn’t make sense that Pringles went with “Fever Reliever” for their Corn Crisps tagline, because they make Corn Crisps look like a fever inducer, specifically a fever inducer in your fuck parts. I mean, this is definitely some late-80s corn chips fetish shit.

Is this farm boy orgasming from a Corn Crisp, or is he getting a beej, or is he pretending to kiss on a tiny peen?

Is this an uncut dick covered in corn kernels or a corn kernel that was shot to look like a boner? The director of this commercial should really put “master at making corn look like a hard dick ready for the ridin’” under special skills on their resume:

And is this chick with a Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction perm seeing God over eating a Corn Crisp or is she seeing God while getting the down-low tingles? Or both?

That amazing commercial has me asking: Am I supposed to fuck Corn Crisps or eat them? Because if it’s the former, they should have come with a warning label that says, “WARNING: Fucking Corn Crisps may lead to you saying (in a Carol Channing) voice, ‘Corn?!’ into a toilet later.”

Pics: YouTube

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