Hot Slut Of The Day!
The timeless ceramic Christmas tree!
If you looked at that picture and your finger tips immediately flinched while thinking about burning your hand skin on that piping hot ceramic burn trap of Christmas cheeriness, then you’re probably a child of the 70s, 80s, or 90s. These ceramic trees were sprouted from the ceramic ground in a truly elegant Christmas tree farm sometime in the 1960s (or were born in the depths of Vermont Country Store Hell), and in the 80s, it seemed that as soon as a woman turned 50, one of these magically ended up in one of her cardboard boxes of Christmas decorations. Because everybody’s grandma and auntie had one. Although, my abuelita never had one, but my sister’s friend’s mom had one, and she kept it on the kitchen counter all year long. I thought it was a cookie jar at first, but the only goodies it held were the cackles it’d let out after burning an unsuspecting child. Those ceramic trees were definitely made by the makers of burn cream.
CBS5 in Phoenix did an important story on these ceramic trees, proclaiming that they are BACK!
Remember those old ceramic Christmas trees you’d see around the holidays when you were a kid?
Well, they’re making a comeback.
Retailers such as Target, Amazon and Urban Outfitters all sell trees similar to those your parents, aunts, uncles or grandparents had.
Ceramic Christmas trees first became popular in the ’60s and ’70s, which explains why they were often found on the mantles or TV sets of our relatives as we were growing up.
But really, in order for something to make “comeback,” doesn’t it have to be gone for a minute? The ceramic Christmas trees have never left, and as long as memaws and aunties exist, they will too. I’m not a memaw or an auntie, but I may get one for next year, and when people look at it, I’ll say the same thing that many a memaw and auntie say, “It’s gorgeous and oh-so-unique, right? I made it myself!” And they’ll nod knowing full well I got that shit at Target.
Pic: Amazon