If anyone ever tries to tell me that Santa Claus ain’t real I will immediately direct them to the news that ALL of the Kardashians, including the Scrappy-Doo of Kardashians Kourtney Kardashian, will be doing away with their respective apps next year. Because that miracle alone proves that Santa is real, Jesus Saves and Satan is taking a much needed holiday in Antarctica.
Us Weekly reports that the Koven is ready to stop charging their fans $2.99 per app for unlimited access to their lives because, for one, we don’t need it since they’re always doing shit for attention. Plus with all of their business endeavors and ever-growing brood it’s pretty clear that these broads are never going away.
“We’ve had an incredible experience connecting with all of you through our apps these past few years,” Kim, 38, wrote in a statement on her site. “But have made the difficult decision to no longer continue updating in 2019.”
I’ve packed your bags at the door ladies so have a safe trip and Happy New Year! Unfortunately this isn’t a real goodbye as they will still maintain all of their individual websites. But in addition to getting rid of the apps back in August, they also decided to close all of their DASH clothing stores to focus on other endeavors. Meanwhile, bonus sister Kendall Jenner is giving those other hoes major side eye because she quit updating her app last year due to a change in priorities. I’m going to assume that “change in priorities” is code for distancing herself as much as possible to look like a ~serious~ model.
Honestly, because I couldn’t care less, I had no idea they all had apps that updated people about their lives because their entire existence is a constant update. They’re like the humanized version of the Android updates they force you to download every few months. You try to ignore it for a while before you’re forced to accept it. Then, once you have, it just makes everything worse. Yes, that’s a great definition for their entire family.