Oscars, Who? Kevin Hart Is The Second Highest-Paid Comedian Of 2018

December 20, 2018 / Posted by:

If you think Kevin Hart is still smarting from his self-dismissal and public flogging after that Oscar hosting debacle, think again. Kevin Hart don’t give a fuck. He’s the second highest-paid comedian in the entire world, according to Forbes, and can afford to buy his own internet that’s just him and Nick Cannon sending cute GIFs back and forth. No, Kevin is not bothered in the least. He’s so rich he’s standing on an apple crate and laughing into a gilded mirror, pointing at himself like “You the man, dog!”, “no YOU the man!”. Yes, Kevin’s laughing all the way to the bank, and jumping up and down so the teller can see he’s there.

Kevin came in 2nd place on Forbes’ list of The World’s Highest-Paid Comedians Of 2018. Jerry Seinfeld held on to the #1 spot earning $57.5 million in 12 months. Jerry beat Kevin by a paltry $500,000, meaning Kevin earned $57 million this year. If that Oscar gig paid half a mil, Kevin could be wearing the crown this year, adding at least an inch to his height. So maybe he did screw himself over after all.

Sadly, no women were funny enough to make the cut. Last year, Amy Schumer was the sole lady on the list, but isn’t on the list this year. Probably because of the substantial sacrifices she made in the name of social justice. #Shero. Also not making the cut, Louis C.K., who’s freckled pecker famously lost him$35 million in an hour”. But he did get to meet Hitler so, not a complete loss.

After Jerry and Kevin, it goes Dave Chappelle ($35 million), Chris Rock ($30 million), Ricky Gervais ($25 million), Gabriel Iglesias (that “fluffy” guy, $20.5 million), Terry Fator (that puppet guy, $18 million), Jim Gaffigan (that “dad” guy, $17.5 million), Jeff Dunham (that other puppet guy, $16.5 million), and Sebastian Maniscalco (that “who?” guy, $15 million). Sweet Jesus, I need to get myself a dick and a puppet STAT!

Pic: Wenn.com

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