Hot Slut Of The Day!

December 18, 2018 / Posted by:

Cinnamon Toast Crunch Churros Cereal!

If God had a dick, it’d taste like a churro. My mouth is a magnet and churros are steel. Whenever I walk by a grocery store freezer section and see a box of churros in there, my mouth drags the rest of my body there and suction cups to the glass. Whenever I walk by a food stand selling churros, I immediately scream “RUN FOR YOUR LIVES” before my jaw takes on a life of its own and opens as I swallow up the entire cart. Whenever I see churros on a menu at a restaurant, I lift my nose up in the air and sniff out the scent of them before I float over to the part in the kitchen where they’re being made. What I’m saying is that churros are my reason for living, and so my mouth is stuck to the screen as I type this.

General Mills is putting out three new flavors of classic cereals including Fruity Lucky Charms and Chocolate Toast Crunch, but who really cares about those stupid flavors when it’s all about Cinnamon Toast Crunch Churros! This picture of the real STAH being pushed off to the side reminds me of the times that Beyonce graciously gave up the middle spot in a picture of Destiny’s Child.

Cinnamon Toast Crunch Churros made its debut in grocery stores yesterday, which has me asking myself: Why am I typing this instead of furiously clearing grocery store shelves of Cinnamon Toast Crunch Churros like I was on Supermarket Sweep? My priorities are fucked. And yes, this cereal is basically just Cinnamon Toast Crunch shaped like little churros, but I still would. If you call it a churro or a peen, I’ll gladly put my mouth on it.

Pic: General Mills

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