FYI: Liam Hemsworth And Jughead From “Riverdale” Supposedly Have Good Dick Game

December 18, 2018 / Posted by:

If you looked at that headline and said, “THEM?!?” You had the same response I did. But I guess in the game of dick, 28-year-old Liam Hemsworth and 26-year-old Cole Sprouse (who plays Jughead in Riverdale and was a Disney channel kid star with his twin) have got the coochies of their girlfriends going off like a jackpot siren on a slot machine. Because they’re winners at the dick game, so say their girlfriends.

Liam and Cole being the Brad Rutters (more like Brad Nutters) of the good dick game (which sounds like something you’d say to your friend after playing a board game based on Dick Van Dyke) started when a meme went around claiming that what’s more of a fairy tale than a unicorn with a four leaf clover-shaped b-hole is a dude who is filled with compassion, doesn’t have a wandering dick, has good sense, is not a Tom Cruise when it comes to height, and can fuck.

Cole’s girlfriend Lili Reinhart (who plays Betty Cooper on Riverdale) used to say that her relationship was private to her, but she tore off that “privacy please” sign to let us all know that Jughead can lay it down and stays true.

“Hmm, I guess he used some of that Riverdale money to buy ’empathy,’” said Cole’s ex-girlfriend who accused him of being emotionally abusive on Tumblr. A side-eye was also probably thrown by the ex who accused him of cheating.

Miley also let us know that her “survival partner” is all those things.

I see those “Liam cheated on Miley” rumors winking at her comment.

Good dick game can be subjective, so if Lili and Miley think their dudes are good at it, then congratulations to them. But if you’re with a piece who is such a winner at the dick game that after he does you, Bob Barker busts into the bedroom to award him with a Showcase Showdown prize package, why would you admit that? You keep that to yourself. That’s just asking for the home wrecking hos to come buzzing around your man. You say, “I stay with him because he makes me laugh and honestly, he lasts six seconds and the dick never gets hard so getting fucked by him is like getting fucked by an uncooked Crescent Roll.” That’s what you say! Lili and Miley have truly lost at the smart thinking game.

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