BREAKING: Duchess Meghan, Who Is Pregnant, Is Feeling Very Pregnant

December 18, 2018 / Posted by:

Rather than see another headline about how she would like nothing more than to slap Duchess Kate with one of her silly fascinators, Duchess Meghan is deploying the greatest diversion tactic in her toolkit: the baby bump! Meghan was performing her last royal duty of 2018 today by visiting a nursing home for elderly who were once entertainers. Swapping jazz hands and dirt on silver screen legends with old fogies who don’t have any fucks left to give? Sign. Me. Up. Meghan, of course, had to make it all about her, so she spent most of the day rubbing her pregnant belly. Psh, pipe down, Meg! I’m trying to hear about how big of a dick Laurence Olivier could be.

Us Weekly says Meghan was wearing a gray coat by Canadian designer Soia & Kyo and seemed to be in good spirits. She told a resident she was feeling “very good” and “very pregnant,” which made the resident say, “No shit, Sherlock. If you rub that belly any harder, you’re going to wear the fabric out!” No they didn’t, but I’m sure someone was thinking it. The day was VERY exciting for Meghan because an Instagram “glitch” briefly reactivated her old Instagram. Some may call that a glitch, but I’m sure Meg was just bored while her handlers did the actual heavy lifting at the nursing home, so she decided to go look at some cat videos. Princesses – they’re just like us!

People says it’s the last of Meg’s royal nonsense before she and Prince Harry take time to rehearse all the eye rolling and passive aggressive lines they plan to drop over Christmas dinner to Kate and Prince William. (And also plan their trip to North America next fall.)

Yes, they’re all spending the ho-ho-holidays together at Sandringham, as expected. Somehow, I think the Christmas dinner will simply be QE2 death-staring Kate and Meghan and bellowing, “I didn’t live through wartime and all these decades for some shoulder-baring Yankee doodle and a flight attendant’s kid to do me in! Straighten up!

Pic: Backgrid

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