Miley Cyrus was on Howard Stern’s SiriusXM show yesterday to push her electro-country song and its eyeroll-inducing woke video, and she talked about the wildfires which wrecked California recently. Miley was one of the celebrities who lost their home, and she talked about how Liam Hemsworth gallantly saved all of their animals from a blazing inferno. And no, she wasn’t talking about the animal on Billy Ray Cyrus’ head. Sadly, I think that animal has been dead for decades. And Miley also talked about how she and Liam keep the love alive by Facetime fucking.
Miley told Howard “Liam, I’ve never loved him more for this,” after he saved all of their animals from a fiery death. And they have several animals. It’s like an Old MacDonald roll-call. They have: seven dogs, two mini horses, two regular horses, two pigs and three cats. Miley says that she no longer call Liam her “fiancé” and instead now refers to him as her “survival partner.” via Page Six
“I call him my survival partner now and he thinks it’s not romantic but I learned that it is. That is why you pair up with someone, is for survival and he was so incredible.”
He got all the animals out in his truck. He put two pigs in crates, which I tell you is so hard … I said, ‘how did you get them out,’ and he said, ‘the only thing I could do was get a really powerful hose and spray them in the ass,’ so he just chased the pigs into a crate which was genius.”
Miley says she rewarded Liam for saving their animals by giving him plenty of hillbilly cooch:
“He got a lot of action for saving the animals… We had to make sure he knew I was very, very grateful.”
And how do they get it on even when at a distance?
“That’s what FaceTime’s for… Cybersex.”
I’m really alarmed at how much I feel I have in common with Miley Cyrus. I would wreck a man if he saved my cat from a fire. Liam is really creeping up that “Who’s The Hottest Hemsworth Brother?” ladder. Save a few more animals and you might just knock Thor and his muscles down to second place! And if you need a boner breaker after picturing a shirtless, sweaty Liam Hemsworth saving animals, then here’s one: Miley confirmed she’s gonna be on Black Mirror.