Duchess Meghan is going through it lately (but luckily she has two things called Prince Harry and “not having to worry about money” to get her through it). Between feeling her ankles starting to swell with pregnancy from having to cope with the supposed feud she’s having with her sister-in-law Duchess Kate over dresses, life isn’t easy for a gal new to the British royal family. And then you’ve got her Pops. Thomas Markle is still turning to the press to report everything he’s feeling about his estranged daughter. This time he brought photos, letters, and a revelation that he felt it necessary to ask his ex-wife and Meghan’s mother, Doria Ragland, why Meghan isn’t speaking to him. This is sort of meta or Russian nesting doll or something because the answer is this interview you’re currently giving to the Daily Mail, fool.
Thomas Markle spoke to the Mail from a hotel room near his home in Rosarito, Mexico. He did everything but bring in a violinist to play a spare, mournful dirge as he reiterated his sob story of familial discord.
‘I have been frozen out and I can’t stay silent,’ he said last night. ‘I have made dozens of attempts to reach my daughter via text and letters, but she and Harry have put up a wall of silence. They have done what they once told me not to do – they are believing everything negative that has been written about me. So I am reaching out to them, once again, to try to correct the lies and get the truth out there.
This might be tragic if we didn’t automatically envision the check that dad got passed as the reporter and photographer packed up to leave. Markle wants everyone to know that his daughter once loved him, he really had two heart attacks that prevented him from attending the Royal Wedding (wasn’t he already disinvited?), and he definitely attended Meghan’s first wedding to film producer Trevor Engelson in September 2011. He backed this up with a pic of him with his daughter on her first wedding day, the hospital receipts proving he was laid up with heart problems, and notes from the duchess that said stuff like:
He pulls one Valentine’s card from a manila folder. It shows a picture of a chubby baby holding a daffodil with a touching message: ‘Daddy… I don’t express as often as I should how much you mean to me. Everything you do for me has turned me into who I am and I am so grateful. All I want to do is make you proud… and I promise, no matter what, I’ll do it. Thank you for everything daddy. I love you with all of my heart now and forever. Love Bean’ – a reference to his childhood nickname for her.
He also said that he “hand-delivered a letter to Doria” asking why his daughter won’t speak to him.
‘Everything has been met with a stony silence. Their silence means people continue to attack me and write lies about me.’
Why didn’t you ask your evil other daughter to deliver it straight to Meghan? Apparently, she’s welcome inside Kensington Palace whenever she pleases.
It’s a long-ass interview that also includes Thomas SMH-ing over his daughter’s alleged recent diva behavior (“The Meghan I know was always sweet, kind, generous. She was always demanding but never rude.”), shading Prince Harry by saying he’s never worn a Nazi uniform or played pool naked, and noting that he didn’t partake of the gift bag of weed that all the guests at her first wedding in Jamaica received.
So in his fourth “my daughter and her new husband have turned the world against me” interview, he managed to suggest his new son-in-law was a spoiled Neo-Nazi nudist and that his daughter was an evil diva who forced her first wedding’s guest to do drugs. I see what you did there, Tommy!