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Pink Panther Flakes!

Nowadays if I want to eat a bowl full of pink flakes, I gotta douse some Corn Flakes with Pepto-Bismol. But the people of the early-70s were lucky, because when they wanted to eat a bowl full of pink flakes, they just had to stroll down the cereal aisle at the grocery store.

Mr. Breakfast says that in 1971, Post was a sponsor on The Pink Panther’s Saturday morning show, and so to get their money’s worth, they created a cereal called Pink Panther Flakes. Since I was years away from being the failed Band-Aid baby in my parent’s marriage in 1972, I never got to put Pink Panther’s pink flakes in my stomach. But apparently, just sniffing it would give you a cavity in your nostrils and diabetes of the nose.

Most people remember Pink Panther Flakes as being extraordinarily sweet-tasting. The “pink” didn’t add a distinct new flavor, so the taste could be compared to ordinary Sugar Frosted Flakes with more sugar.

There was a commercial for Pink Panther Flakes, and it had a theme song that was the Pink Panther song as creepily sung by The Siamese Cats from Lady and the Tramp after they inhaled a tank of helium.

Pink Panther Flakes also did this thing where the color ran off the flakes and dyed the milk pink. Since it turned the milk pink, I wonder if it turned your piss and shit pink too, because if you’re going to get diabetes you may as well be able to say, “Look at me pissing like Angelyne!” Ha, look at me acting like Angelyne is a mortal who pisses like the rest of us.

Pic: eBay