The judge, bailiff, and stenographer of the courtroom that handled Jon and Kate Gosselin’s custody case probably showed up in large plastic ponchos and a clear mask over their faces, because they were ready for the blood, guts, and flesh to fly after Kate unlocked her jaw and went after Jon for daring to fuck with her. But the court was spared from the slaughter since Kate and her lawyer didn’t bother to show up, which may have resulted in something that hasn’t happened to Jon in a while: he won at something.
Last month, Jon made the legal move to get full custody of one of the sextuplets, 14-year-old Collin Gosselin. Kate previously said that Collin was in an inpatient program for “behavioral issues.” Jon asked the court to let him take his son in after Collin checked out of his program. Today was the day of the custody hearing, and Kate was expected to show up. It wasn’t clear if Kate was going to show up and tussle with Jon over custody of one of her money makers, or happily give custody to Jon since she’s still got 6 other kids she can post on her Instagram (one of the other sextuplets, Hannah, also lives with Jon). We never found out what Kate wants, because after failing to push the hearing date, she was a no-show today.
“Jon won sole physical and sole legal custody of Collin,” a source tells Us Weekly exclusively. “All other matters were moved to a future court date.”
Kate had asked a day earlier for the hearing to be postponed, but her request was not granted.
Maybe Kate didn’t want to risk it, and thought that Jon would pull out some evidence from her past and use it against her. Like this iconic bitch moment of Kate that made every Disney villain bow down and worship her flawless meanness.
If Jon presented that video to the judge, the judge may have ordered her into an inpatient program for major, major behavioral issues.
So Jon got sole custody of Collin, and it may have been because Kate didn’t show up to court. Jon was probably like you when you fight a ticket and are in court praying that the cop who issued it doesn’t show up. But Angelina Jolie is probably slapping herself down thrice today. If only she forced her custody fight with Brad Pitt to go to trial. If she did that and texted Brad an hour beforehand with, “Hey Brad, real quick, what’s three divided by three,” he would’ve taken hours to solve that math problem and missed court, giving her full custody. Victory would’ve been hers! Blehehehehee!