The Blast is reporting that even though Alicia Silverstone’s show American Woman kicked the bucket, she has to fork up the cash in her divorce from musician Chris Jarecki. The two were together for 20 years before they broke up and Alicia eventually filed for divorce. As part of their settlement, Alicia must hand Chris a check for $12,000 each month. The spousal support will last until 2024. The papers which The Blast got their hands on don’t specify any child support payments, but the couple does still share joint custody of their 7-year-old immortal vegan child, Bear.
But! There are some stipulations in the payments. If Chris meets a new chick and the two share “housing costs for more than 5-months” Alicia will see a reduction in her payment amounts. What kind of arbitrary divorce nonsense?! If I was Chris I would simply not pay for anything to keep my checks intact! Or not date a trick! Like, who would trade an easy $144,000 a year just to move in with someone? Not I!
Also in their divorce settlement is an agreement that both parents restrain “from making disparaging remarks about the other parent in the presence of the minor child.” Well, if Alicia or Chris decide to break that rule and talk shit about one another in front of their child, their child might not be able to hear it over the sound of his measles-stricken little classmates sneezing and crying.
Welp, can’t wait to see how the parenting rules change post-divorce. Stay tuned for Chris to have a serious talk with Bear: “Son, at my house you have to chew your own food. When you’re with your mom, she can bird feed you all she wants, but my house, my rules!”