Ain’t nobody thought that vacuous socialite/eternal My Super Sweet 16 Hell-brat Paris Hilton would get married to boyfriend, Chris Zylka. They were destined for BreakUpsville and everybody knew it! People is reporting that sources upon sources are coming out of the woodwork to give their two cents on the Greek tragedy that is Paris Hilton’s love life. And let me tell you, none of them have nice things to say, and also say that (prepare to fall out of your body from SHOCK) Chris didn’t buy the $2 million diamond engagement ring he “gave” to Parasite.
Sources gave People this dose of DUH:
“They broke up a few weeks ago… The relationship moved very fast, and she realized it wasn’t right for her. This wedding was never going to happen… They never had an engagement party and Chris’ parents never even met Paris’ parents.”
Okay so clearly Paris knew this wasn’t happening. She isn’t not throwing an engagement party. She isn’t going to give up the chance to have it co-sponsored by Swarovski crystals and Bubblicious gum.
Meanwhile, Page Six closed the chapter on Ringgate. According to a source, Paris is keeping the ring, because it was gifted to her by celebrity jeweler Michael Greene. gave Paris the ring. This is different from the original story from January, when some rep claimed Chris wasn’t only an actor, but also a world-renowned painter whose pieces had “become very valuable and lucrative.” Oh, yeah, move over Picasso, it’s time for this guy:
Paris Hilton’s friend added that she paid for everything and wasn’t happy.
Page Six reached out to Chris and were told that their “info on the ring is wrong” and “Chris has his own money. Do your homework.”
Honestly Chris, Paris is awful. You may be missing out on having a sugar mama pay for everything, but it’s worth it. You wanna listen to her toddler porn-star voice all day and night for the rest of your life? You dodged a bullet girl. A pink, diamond encrusted, sweet-like-poison-smelling bullet.