NBC News Will Reportedly Pay Megyn Kelly $30 Million To Go Away Forever

November 21, 2018 / Posted by:

Megyn Kelly is about to get the belated birthday present I’ve been waiting my whole life for (her birthday was on Sunday, she spent it with Fox and Friends host Janice Dean). Comcast, NBC’s parent company, is getting ready to hand her a check for $30 million for being an insufferable twat. I’m an insufferable twat, where’s my money? Page Six says she will likely be paid the full amount of what remains on the $69 million dollar contract she signed in 2017. What’s more, Megyn’s probably got another job lined up already.

Megyn was nominally fired from her gig on NBC’s Today for defending white people’s right to debase black people in the name of fun. Page Six reports that rather than spend one more minute listening to Megyn bitch about what’s hers, they decided to just go ahead and give it to her.

“Everyone wants this to be over — both Megyn and NBC — and Comcast has the money to pay off Megyn. We thought this would be a done deal a few weeks ago.”

One senior TV source added: “NBC decided rather than fight and face a lawsuit from her, they — and more importantly, Comcast with all its money — decided to draw a line under the entire debacle and pay Megyn the full amount owed in her contract to go away.

Apparently, NBC says the deal is taking longer than expected. They were hoping to be rid of her weeks ago, noting that “it’s taking slightly longer than expected, the paperwork is going back and forth”. And really, they have no one to blame but themselves. Did they not read the back of the Messy Megyn Doll box where it said “Pull my string and I’ll you’ll regret it. I poop too!” when they bought her?

Sadly, once Messy Megyn is out of her box, she never goes away. Much like the serial killer possessed Chucky Doll, the Messy Megyn is possessed by a racist troll who harbors dark fantasies involving Santa in blackface.

“But this is far from the end of her TV career — in the Trump era, there are few broadcasters like her. Megyn would likely take a short break from TV and return to cable news ahead of the 2020 election.”

Oh joy. Can’t wait to hear what satanic message Messy Meghan will have to share with the nation.

Pic: Wenn.com

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