Rudy Giuliani Is Accused Of Spending Close To 1 Million Dollars On His Mistress And Sundries

November 8, 2018 / Posted by:

Last spring, Judith Nathan Giuliani filed for divorce from Rudy Giuliani, and later claimed he was a liar (duh) and a cheat (gross). Judy is now adding extravagant spender (must be nice) and fool (see: “liar”) to her list of grievances. Recent court documents accuse Rudy of spending $900,000 since their divorce filing, with a chunk of it going to his alleged mistress. And in case there was still any doubt about Rudy’s ability to get or maintain an erection, an exorbitant amount spent on cigars and pens.

NBC Boston reports that Rudy somehow managed to blow 12,000 cigars. Sorry, to blow $12,000 ON cigars and $7,100 on pens. And if amassing obscene quantities of phallic symbols wasn’t bad enough, Judy also claims that Rudy spent $286,532 on his alleged mistress, Maria Rosa Ryan (who is also married). Add in $447,938 “for his own enjoyment” and $165,165 “for travel expenses”, you’ve got yourself quite a day at the spa! I imagine Rudy needs frequent blood and soul transfusions, and those can be pricey.

The real kicker is Judy says during this whole time, Rudy claims he hasn’t been able to pay her any support (and cut her off from their credit cards) because he is “dealing with a diminished income” since he quit his law practice to go work for Donald Trump “for free”.

Funny how that works; you’re already filthy rich, you work for your friend for free (and do a terrible job), gain access to staggering power, claim poverty, spend the savings on your side piece, and treat yourself to the finest fresh rodent livers the world has to offer (or whatever it is soulless creatures born of Satan’s cock boils like to eat). And as for Judy, him? You married his rancid ass. That’s on you, child.

The only victims in this saga are the people who have been forced to imagine the personal life of Rudy Giuliani. The judge chastised both of these American scammers for doing this publicly and urged them to work it out privately.

“It is beyond me why this is done publicly… throwing out all [your] dirty laundry for consumption,” Judge Katz said.

Judge Katz then put his hands on his hips and gave his best Aunt Sassy impression.


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