It’s been over ten years since Brandy’s brother Ray J and Kim Kardashian sex tape terrorized all of our senses and unleashed a koven of fame whore evil upon the world, a fame whore evil we still haven’t been able to shake. In 2013, Ray J brought up how he banged Kim when he released his song “I Hit It First” despite the fact that they hadn’t been together in over a decade. And now, fiver years after that pathetic display, he is bringing it up yet again.
Ray J spilled “secrets” about Kim to partygoers at some club in London and those partygoers told The Sun about it. I use quotations because are these secrets? Is this scandalous material? I’ve seen this man nose-deep in Kim’s pussy (and he’s like looking deep into the camera during, it’s horrifying), I’m not scandalized by what this hetero is considering spilt tea.
Speaking to the partygoers, Ray J declared: “I hit it first, man!” and also said he has “no regrets” about dating Kim, which should surprise no one because she is literally the only reason he’s famous. I feel like that’s not a “no regrets” situation that’s an “eternally thankful” situation. Ray J then decided he would detail his sexual exploits with Kim because I guess literally seeing them in a 41 minute-long sex tape wasn’t enough:
“Kim and I had fun times – marathon sessions. But she didn’t like getting sweaty and would stop to do her make-up if she did… She liked to look dope during sex, the right lighting, setting the mood. She was wild – there was a red Louis Vuitton trunk of sex toys… She would order out for pizza, the only thing not working up a sweat was the Cristal cooled to 22 degrees… her mom would call and she would nearly always take it.”
Okay, so this actually sounds highly accurate of Kim Kardashian. Fixing makeup during sex? Sounds factual. Set the lighting for sex? Also sounds accurate. Answering the phone when her mom calls also sounds very realistic since you always have to pick-up when Satan or his envoys call, or else he gets angry.
During what The Sun describes as a “wild 12 hour party session,” Ray J also claimed that Kim once spent almost $100, 000 in a year on “floss” which The Sun believes is American slang for thongs, but let me tell you: I have never heard of that.
Since Ray J awakened the fame whore beast by mentioning her, she had something to say on Twitter, of course.
Or shows he’s a pathological liar ??? you actually believe this story? It’s too funny to me!
— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) November 4, 2018
This story is too funny to me also. This is your legacy, Kim. Ray J is here to show Kim Kardashian that even though she fucked him many, many, many years ago, he’ll continue to flare up and bother her every now and then. Unlike herpes, there is no medicine for treating Ray J and the Kartrashians.
And here’s two of those strains we can’t get rid of in lazy goth sexiness at the LACMA Art and Film Gala on Saturday night.