After winning a Jell-o Wrasslin’ contest over Lance Bass for the Brady Bunch house, HGTV announced plans to turn it into the brown and orange toned shag carpet day dream of 1970s delights. The house in Studio City, CA used for the exterior shots of The Brady Bunch will be gutted and the inside turned into an exact replica of the interior set. Well, Marcia (AKA “Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!”), Jan, Cindy, Greg, Peter and Bobby were all on hand to (collect a quick check) and help usher in the re-dawning of this most fabulous decade as re-imagined through reality renovation television.
It’s not clear how involved the Brady siblings will be with the renovation, but based on Maureen McCormick’s quote in People, it sounds like they just showed up to the house for a quick photo-op and stack of money:
“If anyone’s gonna redo that house, who could be more perfect than HGTV? I’m a big fan of their network. I’m sure that they will do a great job.”
HGTV has released a trailer for the show, which will air sometime in 2019:
Notice that Lance does not make an appearance in the video. Perhaps his role as producer is strictly a pity bone thrown at him and was just to shut him up after talking shit about how HGTV “hosed” him. Bitter Lance also said his “fans forced HGTV’s hand” to involve him on the project, so his face is probably not going to pop up in front of the camera.
Instead of Lance, HGTV has hired a Goon Squad comprised of all of their home reno shows to attend to the house’s 70s needs. On hand to throw the first swing of the wreaking ball were the Property Brothers Jonathan and Drew Scott, Good Bones‘ Mina Starsiak and Karen E Laine, Flea Market Flip‘s Lara Spencer, Restored by the Fords siblings Leanne and Steve Ford and Hidden Potential‘s Jasmine Roth.
Is anyone else having a mild panic attack reading that all these names were together in the same place at the same time? A Very Brady Renovation could double as an HGTV/Survivor hybrid. I mean, how can all these personalities possibly see this show through with out someone getting kicked off the island? I’m off caffeine, and this crew is giving me caffeine-like jitters stronger than a quadruple macchiato:
No word on if HGTV will stage a broken window with an incriminating baton and broken shards of glass inside the house from Jan’s failed drum majorette stint. Or better yet, Sam the Butcher’s sweaty palm marks on either side of Alice’s rump roast all over the orange formica kitchen countertops.