It’s a sad day for Keith Richards, for it would appear his 14-year-long spiritual biopic has finally come to an end. “But how do I die?” asks a crestfallen Keith. Oh Keith, you don’t die – you outlive us all. But one thing that has apparently been shoved into Hollywood’s morgue is Johnny Depp’s portrayal of Captain Jack Sparrow in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise.
A few days ago we learned that Disney is thinking of rebooting the Pirates franchise. They had reportedly met with the writers of Deadpool 1 and 2. Stuart Beattie, a screenwriter on the first Pirates film spoke to The Daily Mail about the proposed reboot, and claims that when Disney yanked the ship’s wheel, they also dumped Johnny overboard like a chum bucket and wished him farewell.
Stuart was asked if Johnny was out for this next Pirates film, and he nodded yes, adding:
“I think he’s had a great run. Obviously, he’s made that character his own and it’s become the character he’s most famous for now. And kids all over the world love him as that character so I think it’s been great for him, it’s been great for us, so I’m just very, very happy about it. I think Jack Sparrow will be his legacy. It’s the only character he’s played five times, it’s the character he dresses up in to visit children in hospitals, it’s what he’ll be remembered for.”
Stuart isn’t involved in the reboot, so he could be talking out of his ass.
But if Johnny really is done, we’ll always have the Michael Bolton song. I’m sure Johnny will miss the paychecks. But more than that, I’m sure he’ll miss being able to use Jack Sparrow as an excuse for the eight layers of grime covering his body. “Hey Johnny, your hair smells terrible – I know you’re not playing that pirate anymore, so why don’t we start using some shampoo?”