Louis C.K. Says He Lost $35 Million Dollars And Has Been “To Hell And Back”
Prepare to have your heartstrings pulled. There’s a rich white man with no boundaries who has felt the sting of public rebuke. It’s Louis C.K., but don’t worry too much, he’s going to be OK. He’s still rich, just not as rich as he was before everybody learned what a lot of people already knew about his unorthodox masturbatory habits. Before, Louis was making his penis cry in front of non-receptive women, now he’s back at work doing stand up and making his eyes cry instead (metaphorically; sadly the penis crying was literal) by boo-hooing, and joking, about the consequences he suffered during his 11-month time out. According to Louis, it was hell. But really, it sounds more like it was Hell-Lite: All the wallowing and self pity of Hell Classic, but none of the damnation and torture!
According to LaughSpin, Louis did a few drop-in sets over the past week, and at a West Side Comedy Club appearance on Wednesday, he addressed his appalling past behavior and discussed the measures he’s taken to grow and learn as a person. Not! Haha, see, he’s not the only one with jokes. No, he bemoaned all the money he’s lost.
From the source, his Wednesday set addressed getting booed in the streets and how everyone hates him. “I lost $35 million in an hour.”
Louis also joked about having been to hell and back. Because you see, it’s “been a weird year” for Louis. Weird how though? Did he became destitute and have to sell his back hair to a wig maker for bread? Did he constantly bump into men furiously masturbating onto a 8 X 10 head-shot of him to the tune of The Benny Hill Show theme song every time he turned a corner? No? So, not actually that weird.
He continued talking about how he’s been to “Hell and back”—joking that while he was in Hell he met Hitler.
Seriously, “I met Hitler in hell” was the best he could come up with? That’s hacky as hell. For just one week, I’d like to live in whatever made up hellscape Louis’ been in where you can humble brag about losing $35 million dollars. LaughSpins adds:
Multiple comedians hanging out that night say he seemed more authentic and real.
Give me a fucking break. If and when Louis actually “gets real”, it won’t be at a drop in set where he pulls a couple of lazy jokes out of his ass to test the waters to see if anybody flings cum at him like he’s Clarice Starling. Boi, bye.
Pic: Wenn.com