Hot Slut Of The Day!

October 15, 2018 / Posted by:

I hear you bitches screaming, “Michael, why the hell are you posting a picture of the police trying to lure you into the paddywagon with Doritos after you broke the restraining order Prince Hot Ginge took out against you by posting about him again, again, and again?!” Please, I wish I had it like that.

NBC Los Angeles reported yesterday that two deputies of the San Bernardino County’s Sheriff’s Department received a call about a pig the size of a mini-horse on the loose in a neighborhood in Highland, CA. You’d think that when they got the call they’d say, “We were never told that President Trump was visiting today.” (No offense to pigs the size of mini-horses.) But when they got the call, they pretty much shrugged and thought, “That bitch again.” This isn’t the first time (and definitely not the last time) they’ve gotten a call about that porky menace to society.

The deputies could’ve called Applegate Farms and asked how much for a giant pig who could provide bacon for a family of six for an entire year (or for half-a-meal for Guy Fieri’s family). But instead they decided to save that pig and lure it back to its home with some Doritos. They left a trail for it. This is exactly what it looks like when my friend lures my drunk ass away from the bar to home:

It’s been a bad time for pigs since two of the most famous pig parents right now, Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson, have split up. So pigs needs this feel good story about a pig who was reunited with his family with help from Doritos. Unless… Doritos help to enhance the flavor of bacon and that pig was being lured to Applegate Farms. Fuck, don’t listen to me.

Pic: SBPD

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