As expected, one of Donald Trump’s loudest cheerleaders made a visit to the White House today, and it didn’t take long for them to give us one of the more haunting images of 2018. This is the picture that will help Jay-Z and Beyoncé know they made the right decision when they reportedly re-blocked Kanye West’s number again.
E! News reports that Kayne arrived at the White House about ten minutes after twelve today for their scheduled 12:30pm meeting. Of course Kanye was excited to get there early; this is the most exciting day of his life (I’m sure Kim Kardashian is already taking down pictures of their wedding day in anticipation for Kanye’s return home). Kanye and Trump planned to eat lunch in a private dining room with Jared Kushner, Ivanka Trump, and retired football player Jim Brown, where they would dine on…I don’t know, delusion and sandwiches? But before that, Trump met with Kid Rock. Don’t worry, there will be no deeply-uncomfortable video clip in which Trump proudly calls Kanye and Kid “his homeboy and his hillbilly.” Kid met Trump before Trump’s meeting with Kanye, for the signing of the Orrin G. Hatch – Bob Goodlatte Music Modernization Act (H.R. 1551). It’s a bill that is intended to update old US copyright law to better reflect the digital age.
A Kid Rock sighting that doesn’t take place outside a gas station or Florida piercing studio is weird enough, but it got even weirder at the White House. After Trump met with Kid, he went back to the Oval Office and held a press conference at his desk where he said he “liked” Kanye. To which Kanye shouted he “I love you…I love this guy” before ambushing him with a big hug. I honestly thought the only person Kanye West loved was Kanye West. Huh, you learn something new every day.
Kanye West: “I love this guy right here. Let me give this guy a hug.” pic.twitter.com/fuHyzkW37X
— Fox News (@FoxNews) October 11, 2018
That’s the sort of move that might make anyone think it’s time for Kanye to slip those arms into a straitjacket, but according to him, any mental health issues he allegedly had don’t exist. Kanye claims he was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder, that he’s tested in the 98% percentile of an IQ test, and that the only issue he has is that he’s not getting enough sleep. Kanye, please – a thousand vampires sleeping for a thousand years aren’t getting the sleep you need to not be messy.
Kanye West is discussing a variety of topics with Pres. Trump in the Oval Office, including, but not limited to: American manufacturing, mental health awareness, a bipolar disorder diagnosis that another doctor subsequently refuted and a new design for Air Force One. pic.twitter.com/yB7ShiWEFm
— CBS Evening News (@CBSEveningNews) October 11, 2018
Trump also gushed over Kanye. According to Trump, Kanye is a selfless soul who is only thinking about others. Like Trump, who claims Kanye is helping his popularity.
“I’ve known him a long time. He’s a very different kind of a guy, I say that in a positive way. He is a very different kind of a guy. Those in the music business say he is a genius. That’s OK with me because, as far as I’m concerned, he is. When Kanye came out [a] couple months ago, something happened, my polls went up like 25 percent. Nobody [had] ever seen it. He has a big following in the African-American community – a big, big following. I think he has in a lot of communities, but the polls went through the roof. You know what he wants? He is not asking anything for himself. He doesn’t say, ‘Gee, I want to do this or that.’ He is a private guy. He wants to help people.”
They also reportedly talked about manufacturing and prison reform. A six-second conversation I assume happened after they spent at least 45 minutes jerking off each other’s egos.
We also learned that Kanye still believes he’s being bullied into not wearing his favorite MAGA hat. Okay, but is he being bullied worse than Melania Trump? Exactly. Perspective, Kanye. Kanye also says that he hasn’t had a lot of male energy around him in his life, which might explain why he’s so drawn to a macho caricature like Trump. Oh, and we learned that genius-level Kanye chose a password of 000000 for his iPhone.
lmao Kanye's iPhone password is 000000 pic.twitter.com/mEM5Tjq0po
— Del Slappo (@misterjamo) October 11, 2018
Now that everyone knows that, he’s going to have to change it to something much more secure and smart, like 111111.