The Biggest Moment In American Political History Has Happened: Taylor Swift Endorsed A Candidate

When the internet nearly exploded into a zillion megabytes last night over the news that Taylor Swift has finally gotten political, the Democratic Donkey and the Republican Elephant probably clenched their assholes an extra kind of tight in anticipation over what side she’d take. As pop stars like Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, and Beyonce made it Windex-clear (although, Windex does leave streaks, don’t come at me Windexheads) that they were with Her during the 2016 U.S. presidential election, Taylor stayed pretty much quiet and was accused of only caring about one party: the Party of Taylor Swift’s MONAY! And when Taylor was hailed by the alt-right as their queen, she didn’t publicly denounce their asses and instead went after a writer who wrote about it. But because things have become an even bigger flaming turd, Taylor has broken her political silence and endorsed a Democrat.

Taylor ended the U.S. leg of her Reputation Tour in Dallas, TX on Saturday, and after she finished collecting those Republican Texan coins, she announced to her 112 million Instagram followers that she’s voting in Tennessee in the upcoming mid-term elections and hates the record of Republican Senate candidate Marsha Blackburn more than she hates Katy Perry (or used to anyway). As the alt-right and Nazis prolapsed with anger into their swastika Underoos over losing their Aryan queen, Taylor shit on racism, discrimination, and sexism. She also urged everyone to register and vote.

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I’m writing this post about the upcoming midterm elections on November 6th, in which I’ll be voting in the state of Tennessee. In the past I’ve been reluctant to publicly voice my political opinions, but due to several events in my life and in the world in the past two years, I feel very differently about that now. I always have and always will cast my vote based on which candidate will protect and fight for the human rights I believe we all deserve in this country. I believe in the fight for LGBTQ rights, and that any form of discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender is WRONG. I believe that the systemic racism we still see in this country towards people of color is terrifying, sickening and prevalent. I cannot vote for someone who will not be willing to fight for dignity for ALL Americans, no matter their skin color, gender or who they love. Running for Senate in the state of Tennessee is a woman named Marsha Blackburn. As much as I have in the past and would like to continue voting for women in office, I cannot support Marsha Blackburn. Her voting record in Congress appalls and terrifies me. She voted against equal pay for women. She voted against the Reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act, which attempts to protect women from domestic violence, stalking, and date rape. She believes businesses have a right to refuse service to gay couples. She also believes they should not have the right to marry. These are not MY Tennessee values. I will be voting for Phil Bredesen for Senate and Jim Cooper for House of Representatives. Please, please educate yourself on the candidates running in your state and vote based on who most closely represents your values. For a lot of us, we may never find a candidate or party with whom we agree 100% on every issue, but we have to vote anyway. So many intelligent, thoughtful, self-possessed people have turned 18 in the past two years and now have the right and privilege to make their vote count. But first you need to register, which is quick and easy to do. October 9th is the LAST DAY to register to vote in the state of TN. Go to vote.org and you can find all the info. Happy Voting! ???

A post shared by Taylor Swift (@taylorswift) on Oct 7, 2018 at 4:33pm PDT

As of yesterday, Marsha Blackburn was leading in the polls against Phil Bredesen, who tweeted a thanks to Tay Tay last night:

Thank you for the kind words @taylorswift13. I’m honored to have your support and that of so many Tennesseans who are ready to put aside the partisan shouting and get things done. We’re ready for it. Last day to register to vote is October 9. https://t.co/6Xd6YyaJCG pic.twitter.com/CatUBkXPKe

— Phil Bredesen (@PhilBredesen) October 8, 2018

So let’s recap…

It’s 2018, and Taylor Swift is using her powers for good and is risking losing fans by getting political. Meanwhile, Kanye West is being a mess in a MAGA hat and is licking the fake-tanner off of Trump’s chode in between saying that slavery is a choice and that we need to tweak the 13th amendment. If you told me 9 years ago that this is how things were going to play out, I’d tell you that when it happens, I’ll make sure to write, “Dear Crazy, You were right, bitch!“, on Kensington Palace stationary as my ladies-in-waiting gently put ice on my charbroiled b-hole after I took a ride on my new husband’s freckled ginger crotch scepter on our wedding night.

Pic: Wenn.com