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Thunder Jets Fruit Snacks!

There’s a tiny handful of times in my childhood when I felt extra butch. One time was when I actually hit another kid with a ball during dodgeball. Yes, the kid was standing right in front of me, screaming, “Hit me, I want out of this game! I have to pee pee!“, but still. That counts. Another time was when I ate a package of major masculinity in a gummy. I have three hairs on my chest and I’m sure I have Thunder Jets fruit snacks to thank for that.

During the 1990s, Fruit Corners put out Thunder Jets, which were tiny fruit gummies shaped like jets. Fruit Corners was obviously trying to make coins off of Operation Desert Storm. It wouldn’t be an American company unless it was trying to capitalize off of a fucking war. A pack of Thunder Jets came filled with several different kinds of jets including the IT jet of the 90s, the Stealth Bomber. I knew some kids who didn’t eat the Stealth Bomber until last, and I’m sure that there’s a middle-aged dude somewhere who has got a pile of Stealth Bomber gummies in a safe in his bedroom closet.

Thunder Jets weren’t just nutritious goodness, the back of the box also had an aircraft carrier that you could punch out. That way you could zoom your gummy jet across it before dropping it into your mouth. Total butch move! And here’s the commercial:

I bet that every time Tom Cruise and the rest of the cast of that Top Gun sequel get ready to shoot a scene, they down a pack of vintage Thunder Jets to get into the vibe of an extra butch fighter pilot. No, none of them are that serious of a method thespian.

Pic: Flickr