Shia LaBeouf And FKA Twigs Are Now A Thing 

September 25, 2018 / Posted by:

When we last heard about the goings-on of Shia LaBeouf’s peen, he was happily spreading his dick cheese all over the loins of his maybe-fake wife, Emily the Strange’s eyebrow-deficient cousin Mia Goth. Shia (seen above looking freshly power washed by a Hazmat worker) and Mia are apparently done with making the pretentious hipster angels cry with happiness by bumping fuck parts, and he’s now making the pretentious hipster angels cry with happiness by bumping fuck parts with FKA Twigs. Sorry, Diego Rivera and Frida Kahlo, but your title as history’s most famous artiste couple has been snatched away by these two gifts to HIGH ART!

While Robert Pattinson and Mia Goth are out there selling their new movie, their exes are out there spreading their filthy hipster love in London. Mia may not have grown an eyebrow (or two), but she has apparently grown a clue, because The Daily Mail says she dumped Shia, who once said he could kill her during a fight, several months ago. I didn’t think that Shia and Mia got married, but her rep tells UsWeekly they’ve filed for divorce. RPattz and FKA Twigs tossed their engagement into a flaming shit can last year. While she was with RPattz, FKA Twigs got hate from crazed racist Twihards. So the good news is that she doesn’t have to worry about that now that she’s with Shia, because I don’t know if he has rabid fans. Unless you count the mutated lice who have lived in his armpit forest for years as “rabid fans.”

Shia and FKA Twigs met on the set of Honey Boy, the movie where he plays his own dad. FKA acts in it. The Daily Mail got pictures of Shia and FKA leaving her place in London.

FKA also confirmed their love to The Daily Mail in an EXCLUSIVO interview which was done through her damn intercom system.

Speaking through the intercom at her home, she said: ‘We’re very happy, we’re having a nice time.’

Whatever the equivalent of a Pulitzer Prize in Britain is, The Daily Mail needs to win it for their extensive interview with FKA Twigs through her house intercom. Are they even sure it was FKA Twigs? Did she sound like she was holding her breath, which is what one has to do to avoid inhaling the Pig Pen-like stank cloud wafting off of Shia? But then again, she was with RPattz, so either her nostrils don’t work or nothing gives her the tingles like musty ball syrup fumes.


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