Pete Davidson is an open book. Grab yourself a blunt, have a seat in that comfy chair and crack open The Life Of Pete in front of a cozy tire-fire. While it won’t be winning any fancy literary awards, it’s got a solid 2.8 on Goodreads. I’ve read it; it’s part Catcher In The Rye, part Oliver Twist and part Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt. Pete recently appeared on the Howard Stern’s SiriusXM show and to no one’s surprise, Pete frankly, and in too much detail, talked about sex, drugs, and in a dark twist, his incinerated father. No that is not a typo.
Pete’s father was a NYC firefighter who died during 9/11. Pete says that sex with Ariana Grande is so good that sometimes he has to hold himself off by thinking about something that’s not sexy. Instead of thinking about something benign like ice cream cones or flowers (oh, I see the problem now), Pete thinks about his dead dad. In graphic detail (via Buzzfeed):
I was just thinking of my dad being burned alive. That’s what I do. I just think of my dad seeing that fire coming right towards him.
Big yikes, Pete. big yikes. Pete also let it be known that his unbridled passion for Ariana began before they met in person. And it’s part of the reason he’s not jealous of other guys; he gets it (via Vulture):
The first time the couple hung out, Davidson says, he was so nervous and the feeling hasn’t really subsided. “Any time we’re intimate I’m always apologizing and saying thank you. ‘You’re awesome for doing this, thank you so much,’” he said, adding: “I get it. I was jerking off to her before I met her!”
Ugh. Groveling is such a turn off. Plus, it turns out he doesn’t actually have a big old hog. His dick is a totally average Piggy Smallz size.
“I think I have an average sized penis and she’s tiny. Everything’s big to her.”
Pete’s all over the place. He’s probably one of those people who self-medicate to keep their brains from imploding. Pete claims he been smoking weed every day for the past 8 years. Pete did go to rehab back in 2016, but he soon realized that weed wasn’t one of his problems. It was his best friend. People reports:
However, once Davidson was in treatment, he realized “it wasn’t the weed.” “I was sober for 3 months at one point and was like this fucking sucks. I don’t want to feel like this,” Davidson added before explaining that marijuana helps manage his health issues.
“I have Crohn’s disease, so it helps more than you can imagine,” Davidson told Stern.
“There was a point where I couldn’t get out of bed. I was 110 pounds,” Davidson said describing his experience with Crohn’s disease. “I also just love smoking weed.”
I hope weed and Ariana Grande’s petite vagine are the only two items on Pete’s list of things he can’t live without. Ariana’s been through enough.