A Royal Mystery: Was Duchess Meghan Spotted Picking Up Dog Poo?

September 13, 2018 / Posted by:

A woman named Lisa Petrillo, who happens to be a reporter for CBS Miami, was walking/snooping around Kensington Palace in London yesterday and spotted what could only be THEE Duchess Meghan Markle with a little black and white doggy who was taking a crap. I should clarify; the doggy was taking a crap. Meghan was getting a bag ready while she waited for the pooch to pinch that shit off. Lisa was so excited by the royal sighting that she snapped a picture and posted it on Twitter.

Here’s the renaissance painting The Duchess And The Dookie come to life!

I guess she didn’t think it was weird at all that Meghs was just out front of her house wearing a ball cap, with no security around, allowing commoners to just rush up on her. Bruh, the Royals don’t play like that. If it were that easy to get close, we all know that Michael K would be Dlisting from London Tower Jail after getting caught trying to Single Ginger Male Prince Harry years ago. No, it looks to me as if Melania Trump’s body double’s been moonlighting as a decoy duchess. And according to E! News, it’s definitely not Meghan.

Clue #1: That is not her dog. Meghan does have a dog but it’s “a brown, black and white rescue beagle named Guy”. Meghan and Harry have also recently welcomed a Labrador into their family.

Clue#2: We don’t all look alike. Lisa apparently got close enough to this woman to pet her dog but still couldn’t be 100% sure it was Meghan?

C’mon, Lisa! You work in media. How many pictures have you seen of Meghan? Her face is more familiar to me at this point than my dearly departed mother’s.

Clue #3: E! says “the entrance to Meghan and Harry’s Kensington Palace residence is nowhere near the location of the photo, which is located on a road named York House Place, near a few apartment buildings that are not the homes of royalty”, so Lisa actually just posted a creepy stalker picture of some normal lady minding her own damn business. Royal hysteria strikes again. The consensus is: Not Meghan, Thanks For Playing!

Should the real Meghan actually stoop to scoop, it will be under the watchful eye of The Queen who will ruthlessly critique her technique, the bags she’s using, and whatever inferior diet she’s feeding. Willow the Corgi always pooped precise 2 oz turds that smelled of English Garden scented potpourri. So there is a standard to be met.

Pic: Wenn.com

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