Miss Michigan Made Everyone Forget About The Swimsuit Part Of Miss America

September 10, 2018 / Posted by:

As a Southerner, I can confirm every girl in my neighborhood grew up learning how to twirl a baton, tease their hair, and quote the Bible while strutting down a catwalk in a two-piece bathing suit all in the quest to one day be Miss America. Well, things have changed a lot since the Stone Age when I grew up, and, in the era of #MeToo and Gretchen Carlson taking over the leadership role at Miss America, that meant getting rid of the swimsuit competition within the pageant and focusing on “important” issues. Lucky for us, Miss Michigan Emily Sioma brought up the Flint water crisis that gave everyone a case of the “OH SNAP!” that was far more entertaining than any bikini.

People gave a rundown of Sunday night’s show, the first after alleged bully herself Gretchen took over and made it more about brains and less about looking like South Beach. I really hope they actually do revive Designing Women just so we can see what Delta Burke/Suzanne Sugarbaker has to say about this. Emily didn’t waste any time out of the gate and used her introduction to draw attention to how the water in Flint still isn’t exactly Evian fresh from the tap:

Oh! Poor Miss Minnesota is probably regretting that she had to follow that burn up with some pointless “I come the Land of 10,000 lakes and the ditzy Golden Girl” line.

Gretchen had previously said the revamped portion was going to be about brain power over boob-baring swimsuits, but I guess she was hoping the brains would just cause contestants to say things like “I’ve never had a talking-down from or been bullied by Gretchen, and, even if I did, that’s just because she likes to get into Fox & Friends roleplay to re-live the glory days!” Emily didn’t move onto the Top 15, and Miss New York Nia Imani Franklin won the competition, but hey…at least Emily got a viral video and doesn’t have to hang around the beauty queen scene all year. It sounds like she won the real grand prize of the night!

Here’s pics of our new Miss America:

Pics: Wenn.com

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