Open Post: Hosted By A Gyrating Jared Leto

August 24, 2018 / Posted by:

Jared Leto’s doing what any other pop tart of his ilk would be doing to increase ticket sales for his concert tour. He’s showing some skin and working that body-ody-ody to get those thirsty eyes upon him. He’s done it before, remember when he was kicking off his cross country road trip in support his Thirty Seconds To Mars album America and was posting beefcake pictures of his younger self and promising that if the album went #1 he’d cut his beard off? Well, now he’s got the US and European Monolith tour to promote, so he’s taking his clothes off,  gyrating, and asking people to practice their moves so he can pull them up on stage to dance with him.

Here’s Jared not missing his long lost dignity in the least.

This ho hath no shame. The song he wants people to come on stage for is called “Rescue Me” and TSTM describes it thusly:

Rescue Me is a song about pain, a song about empowerment, a song about faith, and a song about freedom. Freedom from the wreckage of your past. Freedom from the bondage of self. And freedom to embrace all the promises that life has to offer. It’s also a song about the brutal war so many of us wage against fear, depression and anxiety in the hope that we might, one day, live a life filled with happiness and dreams.

The video features many sad people afflicted with conditions that probably terrify Jared such as having freckles, being old, having dark skin, suffering from vitiligo, having Down’s Syndrome, having blond eyelashes, and generally just not being a beautiful young man who looks like hipster Jesus’ cooler older brother.

Here’s the video which I’m pretty sure features an unexpected but not surprising cameo by Paris Jackson. It’s better, if when you watch it, you imagine the people’s anguished expressions are a result of listening to Jared sing, and then when they get happy, it’s because Jared stopped singing.

Pic: Instagram

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