Kim Kardashian And Kanye West Have One Last Baby On Ice

August 22, 2018 / Posted by:

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have one bullet left in the chamber, and they have plans to use it soon. And no, sadly they do not plan to shoot themselves in the foot with it. According to Us Weekly, they are planning on planting it in a stranger’s uterus. Kimye have only one remaining revenue generating human zygote on ice, and I guess now is as good a time as any, to begin a protracted publicity extravaganza they can milk for a solid year like they did last time. Oh, and the last of the Kardashian-West bio babies will be a boy.

Us Weekly reports that Kimye “plan to have the embryo implanted in a gestational carrier ‘soon’” which, if I’m honest, kind of sounds like a threat. It’s weird to say congratulations when the process is so clinical and calculated but, new life is new life, so congrats?

With all the medical science involved with the creation of this family (I’m including mother and father’s physical alterations), you’d think there might be an opportunity to really switch things up this time around. What if Kanye was the “gestational carrier”? (Kim doesn’t like the term surrogate because it implies the egg was not hers). If Jesus can walk on water, why can’t Yeezes carry his own baby to term? Imagine the headlines! Alas, I fear the Kardashian-Wests aren’t nearly as progressive as they’d like to appear. Dipshit Kim’s got some serious retrograde views on parenthood and marriage.

The reality star has long expressed her desire to have a big family. That said, she’ll likely draw the line at four kids. “I don’t think I could handle more than that,” she told Elle in April. “My time is spread really thin. And I think it’s important that in all couples, the mom gives the husband as much attention as the kids.”

But what about the daddy, Kim? Does the daddy also give the children attention? Does the mommy get attention from the daddy? Why does Kanye only get to be the “husband” while you’re the “mom“? Is there no scenario where your the “wife” and he’s the “dad“? I know, why don’t you just take all the attention and call it a day?

You know what, fuck it. I’m taking back my preliminary congratulations. I’d like to exchange them for some condolences and offer it to their frozen ball of cells. I’m sorry little test tube. These are going to be your parents.

Godspeed little one.

Pic: Instagram

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