Liam Neeson To Play A Revenge-Seeking Snowplow Operator

August 18, 2018 / Posted by:

Imagine the trailer? Liam’s in the middle of a snowstorm on his phone warning someone that “I’m a plow driver with a very particular set of skills. And I’m coming for your car that you just dug out. I’m coming to plow it back into a snowbank. And to ding it. Once.” Although this sounds like Taken 4: Snowplow Operator, it’s going to be a whole new movie. Deadline reports that sexy 66-year-old Liam Neeson is set to star as a snowplow driver seeking revenge in Hard Powder. It could be worse. It could be a reboot of something.

In the film, Liam plays Nels Coxman, a snowplow operator for a small Colorado ski town. Nels lives a quiet, idyllic life with his wife (played by Laura Dern!) and his character was recently named “Citizen of the Year” (can we assume it was for his top-notch plowing skills…this is really a movie). But all snowy hell breaks loose when his son runs afoul of the local ski bum drug cartel.

Nels’ quiet life with his wife (Laura Dern) abruptly spins out of control when their son is unjustly murdered by a local drug cartel. Taking the law into his own hands with only the tools of an outdoorsman and snowplow driver, Nels sets out to find those responsible but inadvertently ignites a gang war that threatens to engulf the town- unless he ends it first.

Obviously, our country is in dire straits if the drug cartels are taking over the ski resorts of Colorado. Forget those stoners who just want to snowboard all day and then do bong rips all night. Those snow banks are now pure cocainya and the only way to overcome those murderous, The North Face-clad drug runners is to run them over with a snow plow!

In his most recent film, The Commuter, Liam played my baby taking the morning train who has to save everyone on it from dying on his way to work. It made 120 million worldwide. This is getting a little ridiculous. He should go all-out in his next flick and play a revenge-seeking florist whose only allies in his war against the greenhouse drug gang that murdered his cat are his exquisite flower arrangements.

And to answer Michael K’s question when pitching me this story – no, it doesn’t look like his character clears the snow with his Evian bottle dick.


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