Afternoon Crumbs

August 17, 2018 / Posted by:

Janet Jackson and Daddy Yankee did a song and video together, and never mind that the video made me reach for the Dramamime with all that camera motion and shit. My favorite scene was where Janet, giving us Wakanda royalty, and Daddy Yankee, giving us pimp from Wonderland, are casually hanging out on a NYC roof. The only thing that was missing from the scene was the old grouchy lady who lives in the apartment below hitting her ceiling with a broomstick because they were making too much noise. That old grouchy lady better watch out, though, because Janet can cut a trick with those cheekbones – Lainey Gossip

Meanwhile, on another rooftop somewhere, musical Ambien was being made – Towleroad

Jehovah’s Sexiest Witness ALLEGEDLY followed Zoe Kravitz around, and it actually annoyed her. The fuck?! Oh, Zoe Kravitz, I can’t look at you anymore! – Pajiba

I’ve seen way too many shark movies lately (The Meg, Santa Shark, etc…), because I kept picturing a shark looking at Elizabeth Hurley’s legs from below the ocean with a napkin around its neck and a fork and knife in its fins – Drunken Stepfather

I was going to say that Kim Kartrashian looks like a Real Doll from the 90s, but even Real Dolls look more real than this – Celebitchy

Thanks to this cover of the New York Daily News, I’m sad we never got to see Aretha Franklin as Belle from Beauty and the Beast Kenneth In The (212) 

The Hills are (probably) alive with the sound of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt screaming their nipples off about finally getting another check – Just Jared

Pic: YouTube

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