Penn Jillette Says Donald Trump Said (Shocking!) “Racially Insensitive” Things On “Celebrity Apprentice”
At this point, someone could tell me Donald Trump once humped a Thanksgiving turkey on the boardroom table of The Celebrity Apprentice, and my first thought would be, “How big was that bird?” Now that Omarosa Manigault-Newman opened the floodgates to all the White House tea and confirmed what my blind, deaf dog knew all along (her ex-boss is a racist), everyone is coming out with similar stories. Well, unless you’re Penn Jillette. The magician and half of the Penn & Teller act was a contestant on the Donald’s old reality show, and he confirms the future president said a lot of shitty stuff…just don’t ask him to get into the specifics.
Vulture sat down with Penn and waxed poetic on his life and career and eventually got to what everyone wants to know: does Mark Burnett really have tapes of Donald saying the terrible, racist shit everyone claims he does? Penn said he does, but he also says stakes are high now, so don’t expect him to snitch…that’s how you wind up rolled up in a carpet on the banks of the Potomac!:
“If Donald Trump had not become president, I would tell you all the stories. But the stakes are now high and I am an unreliable narrator. What I do, as much as anything, is I’m a storyteller. And storytellers are liars. So I can emotionally tell you things that happened racially, sexually, and that showed stupidity and lack of compassion when I was in the room with Donald Trump and I guarantee you that I will get details wrong.”
Basically, Penn says it was a nightmare doing that show because you had to stay up for all hours of the night (and do scenes with Lou Ferrigno…Penn didn’t say that part, but it’s implied). He claims the stress of it all means he may have a few details wrong, but it still sounds like Donald was annoying AF to share any time with:
“You sit at this table and this man rambles — pontificatesis giving him too much credit… But you’ve heard Trump ramble when he thinks he’s being careful. Imagine when he feels he can be frank. And I will tell you things, but I will very conscientiously not give you quotations because I believe that would be morally wrong. I’m not trying to protect myself. This really is a moral thing.”
Penn claims he wouldn’t have a problem blabbing about his Trump war stories if Donald hadn’t become president, but that somehow happened. Still, Penn says it would be unfair to use tapes like that against him because he was speaking in the context of his reality show and not in his presidential orbit yet. Child, if he’s calling people dogs and questioning intelligence in his presidential orbit, I really don’t want to know what his language is like when he lets his Cheeto weave down. The whole mess is depressing AF, but there was one nice bit of levity when Penn gave us an update on Siegfried of Siegfried & Roy:
“I was having lunch with Siegfried and he was telling this story about dating a woman. I guess he saw a quizzical look on my face and he said in his German accent with his coiffed hair, ‘I am not gay. I am not straight. I am Siegfried.’”
Someone please make that in a T-shirt because I’ll need 20 in cut-off form.