Your mom probably remembers the day she wrecked a pair of chonies by shooting a jet stream of coochie cream into ’em while watching hairy nippled hotness Lucky Vanous suck down a can of Diet Coke in a 1994 commercial that is an important panty creaming artifact. Well, bear lovers are going to mark August 13th down as the day that they wrecked a pair of chonies by prolapsing into ’em while watching queer rapper Big Dipper orgasm on the inside as a 2-liter Diet Coke bottle busts an endless carbonated jizz geyser all over him.
In case you’re uneducated in the subject of important panty creaming artifacts, the original Diet Coke Break commercial starred Lucky Vanous as a hot construction worker who makes the ladies in a nearby office building shoot their clits off every time he takes a topless Diet Coke break. Big Dipper put a gay bear spin on it, and I don’t know if those office gays are getting the swoons from that Diet Coke shower or from those denim huevos suffocaters. Or both!
This is what you call “suffering for your art,” because Big Dipper probably looks like a hairless bear now after that chemical sugar water burned all of his luscious fur off. It was worth it.