While most of us were slugging along yesterday morning, well into our second cups of coffee and having TGIF happy hour fantasies at the water cooler, Scientologist and sometimes actress Erika Christensen was one upping us all by testing important scientific theories in her home lab.
Erika, who up until yesterday was nine months pregnant with her second child, set out to prove the commonly known folklore that your second baby just kind of slips out of your body when it’s time to deliver. So when Erika went into labor on Friday, she buttoned up her white lab coat and started the experiment. Unfortunately she wasn’t counting on just HOW quickly that second kid slides out, and Erika ended up delivering her baby at home with only her husband Cole Maness there to play catcher.
Erika’s Instagram, where she first announced her pregnancy back in May (while simultaneously preaching the Scientology lifestyle in the comments), has all the details of her home delivery. Don’t worry, it’s not gory and they must have cleaned up before the photo was taken, unless baby thetans are so pure their deliveries don’t carry any afterbirth? Looks like another scientific experiment may be needed to answer that question.
It happened! It happened this morning. And it will go down in family history because babygirl’s own, incredible Dad delivered her all by himself. My fault entirely as I didnt know she would come so quickly and didn’t call the doc until far too late. He came straight over and arrived about one minute after she joined us in the world. Haha! My Mom too. You should’ve seen their faces when they walked in to hear her little wail. Mom immediately took this picture. So epic. 9:21a (we think) at 7lbs 8oz (we think). ? Doc didn’t have time to grab the baby scale in his rush. Meet Ms. Polly. She’s chubby-cheeked and rosy and so beautiful. ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
No word yet on if she followed the Kelly Preston and Katie Holmes Scientology silent birth method, but if you were all alone at home with only your man delivering your baby, do you think you could be silent? Most husbands can’t find their damn keys and wallets, let alone be trusted to deal with the grizzly biology that is childbirth without fainting or falling apart. I give it up to Erika’s husband Cole, he must have channeled the spirit of LRH (I just learned that that’s what the chosen call L. Ron Hubbard) himself to make it through the delivery.
Erika and Cole named their second daughter Polly, after the ferret in that Jennifer Aniston movie, I’m assuming. Polly joins big sister Shane, named presumably after Shane Barbi, one half of the iconic and elegant Barbi Twins.
Congratulations to the happy family, and I leave this video (that oddly wasn’t produced by Christopher Guest, but that he should definitely use as inspiration for his next movie) below as something that baby Polly can look forward to: years and years of clearing auditing sessions are in her bright future. Mazel!