Gird your loins: Idris Elba may soon be making your butthole quiver while wearing a perfectly-pressed suit and shooting bad guys as the one and only James Bond 007. Sorry Harry Styles, but honestly Bond doesn’t wear any floral-printed suits so he’d probably hate it anyway.
Daniel Craig is still locked in to play Bond in the next movie due out October 2019 directed by Danny Boyle and written by John Hodge who did Trainspotting. But, according to The Independent, after he’s done, a dark-chocolate god named Idris is the person on everyone’s mind to next fuck around with gadgets while saving the world on Her Majesty’s Secret Service. The producer of the Bond franchise, Barbara Broccoli has reportedly said that the door is open for a black person to play 007 in the future. Director Antoine Fuqua spilled the tea on one of his conversations with Barbara where she said “it is time” for a non-white actor to look at a woman he plans on having sex with and then getting killed in a crossfire and say: “Bond. ….James Bond.” UMF. Bond with my ass! According to Fuqua, Broccolli said casting a Bond of color “will happen eventually” and we are blessed with the reality that Idris is a frontrunner, something Sony’s ex-co chairman Amy Pascal has been emailing wanting for years. Antonine also said that “Idris could do it if he was in shape. You need a guy with physically strong presence. Idris has that,” said Fuqua
Previously, Idris himself has said he would never play Bond because all of us collectively wishing for him to do it was going to end up jinxing it. Idris although thought he was too old. Well seems like you were wrong Idris! I hope this same rule applies to me constantly saying I want Idris Elba to choke me. Fingers-crossed.
I think Idris would be an amazing Bond. And one of the main reasons why is we could be introduced to a James Bond who eats vagina like a castaway who’s finally home for Sunday dinner. A James Bond with a kinky foot fetish who gets all up in some girl named Veronica Pussyberry’s toes. Oh, girl, I am ready for this movie. Opening day, bring the Kleenex and lotion.