Lance Bass Lost The Brady Bunch Home To HGTV

August 7, 2018 / Posted by:

Lance Bass‘ blonde tips are crisply burnt because of the fire raging inside of him this week. Lance desperately wanted to buy the Brady Bunch house which went on sale recently. Lance didn’t get it and he cried foul about a Shady Brady stealing it away from him. If you heard about Lance losing out on the house despite having a sizeable bid and smelled a conspiracy, your nose is on the nose!

Lance said before that he truly believed he “was used to drive up the price of the home” as a “Corporate buyer (Hollywood studio)” came in and made a bigger bid. TMZ is reporting that Lance was right and that “HGTV has now been announced as the winning bidder for the iconic Hollywood home. The company claims it intends to return it to its ‘1970s glory’.” Wow HGTV, you really just stole the Brady Bunch house from an American gay boy bander, eh? Didn’t know HGTV stood for Homeless Gays Television.

This is infuriating to Lance whose real estate broker told TMZ that the Brady Bunch house broker made it very clear he won the bid. Lance submitted a bid at just under $3 million (the house was listed at $1.9 million) and was told that no more bids would come in after Thursday at 3:00pm. They even sent Lance paperwork to start getting the house signed over. According to Lance’s camp, they had a “gentleman’s agreement.” Come on Lance, there are no gentleman’s agreements in California real estate! This is cut-throat shit. I mean, Katy Perry killed fucking a nun!

Discovery CEO David Zaslav also confirmed that HGTV are the house stealers:

“You may have heard that the house from the iconic series was recently on the market in California. I’m excited to share that HGTV is the winning bidder and will restore the Brady Bunch home to its 1970s glory as only HGTV can. More detail to come over the next few months but we’ll bring all the resources to bear to tell safe, fun stories about this beloved piece of American TV history.”

Did somebody die on an HGTV remodel show? Why did man specify the stories were “safe“? That sounds like a legal key message to me.

I look forward to seeing this home renovation because I’m secretly a 40-year-old housewife who loves home décor shows, although I must admit I’m mad Lance didn’t get it. I’m sure the people at HGTV will do a fine job remodelling the home, but I can only imagine what kind of gay oasis Lance would have turned that place into. Drag Brunch At The Brady Bunch could have become a weekly gay event. He could have had themed rooms for each of the family members; the Marcia Brady Salon, the Greg Brady Smash Room, the Jan Brady Dungeon. Think of the possibilities!

Pic: Instagram

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