Robert Redford Confirms His Plans To Retire From Acting

August 6, 2018 / Posted by:

My aunt keeps a Sundance catalog next to the shitter so I know all about Robert Redford. The Sundance Kid has recently announced that he’s planning on hanging up his overpriced slouchy, crocheted raffia cowboy hat with a turquoise nugget band, and is retiring from acting after one last job. After wrapping up The Old Man And The Gun, his latest, and possibly last film as an actor, Bob will be exiting stage left. He said he would do it, and now he is. Entertainment Weekly reports that “the 81-year-old actor confirmed he was making good on his 2016 claim that he was retiring from acting”.

According to EW:

“Never say never, but I pretty well concluded that this would be it for me in terms of acting, and [I’ll] move towards retirement after this ’cause I’ve been doing it since I was 21. I thought, Well, that’s enough. And why not go out with something that’s very upbeat and positive?” Redford said.

It’s a good thing Brad Pitt will be waiting for him offstage to pick up the mantle. Brad’s been preparing for his big come-up by spending too much time in the sun, and rubbing saddle cream into his face to keep it supple.

Personally, I haven’t been able to work up much of a froth over Bob since he started wearing those dorky Harry Potter looking glasses.

But I’m sure there are plenty of mothers, aunties, and me-maws who are reeling from this news. At least his snacktastic youthful visage is forever preserved on celluloid. And he’s not necessarily retiring all-together. It sounds like he’s leaving the door open to possible directing gigs. The only Academy Award he’s ever won was for directing 1980’s Ordinary People.

Besides, he’s still got his catalog, the film institute, the festival, and the Sundance Resort which I looked up on Instagram to make fun of, but then found myself getting seduced away by the fantasy of it all. Like, I’m not a rich white lady, but if I was, I’d be all over it. Lux faux-rustic accommodations, stunning vistas, horses, mountain top yoga, chunky turquoise jewelry making, and craft cocktails? Fucking sign me up!

Sunsets…Sundance style.

A post shared by Sundance Mountain Resort (@sundanceresort) on

Plus they’re doing Oklahoma! in the theater this season!

I don’t even like yoga or other people! I blame all those years shitting at my aunt’s house for making me susceptible to the siren call of the phony Western aesthetic. I hope Bob enjoys his golden years being super rich and rustic.


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