Open Post: Hosted By Human Face Pies

August 5, 2018 / Posted by:

Who the hell is going to eat these besides a cannibal weirdo from the Dark Web? Laughing Squid was evil enough to feature this Facebook video of these pies with human faces. And please note, these are not just smiley faces drawn into the crust, ha, ha, how cute. These have human features like teeth, nostrils, and *vom* tongues. This Ashley Newman thinks they’re an artiste, but she’s actually of questionable sanity, and her mixer and the rest of her baking tools should be taken away from her, stat.

Horror artist Ashley Newman of “It Came From Under My Bed” has created a fabulously disconcerting series of pot pies with realistic, anthropomorphic faces that have a variety of expressions baked right into their top crusts. These pies and other fascinating handmade objects are available for purchase through Newman’s Etsy Store and business is booming.

Business is booming?!? It’s not the Apocalypse (just yet) and people shouldn’t be buying faces to eat!

Do you think she takes requests? Like there’s someone you don’t care for and you want to symbolically destroy them? Imagine showing up to your next Thanksgiving at mom’s house and you’ve gotten pies made of everyone there but you? Imagine the nervous laughter you’d cause? And you could probably leave early, because everyone’s super uncomfortable and wants to talk about what you did. What’s that URL again?

Pic: Facebook

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