Nicole Kidman Will Play Gretchen Carlson In That Fox News Movie

August 1, 2018 / Posted by:

Every former Miss Kentucky that works at Fox News has most definitely been taking bets in the break room over what “LIBERAL ELITE MOONBAT HOLLYWOOD CELEBRITY!” would play her in the upcoming movie about the women of Fox News and how they dealt with Roger Ailes. While I still think Snooki should play Kimberly Guilfoyle (no offense, Snook), we at least know who two Fox alums will be portrayed by. Y’all already knew that Charlize Theron has been rehearsing Santa is white…get over it” for a while now to get into her part as Megyn Kelly, but now you’ll get to see Nicole Kidman at Gretchen Carlson because, um, I guess if you have glaucoma, those two look alike?

The Hollywood Reporter says Nicole joined the film, and talks are finalizing with Margot Robbie to play an associate producer. You know this is a fictional (FAKE NEWS!) Fox News if they’re sticking Margot behind the camera. Plus, three foreign actresses chosen to play three Grade-A, gun-toting, Fake News-farting Fox News employees?? BUILD THE WALL!

The ensemble movie is being directed by Jay Roach and will be written by Charles Randolph, the same guy who wrote The Big Short. 

Along with those three, I guess the producers are still on the hunt for someone to fill the role of Greta Van Susteren, Rupert Murdoch, and Bill O’Reilly. Greta seems to live on Twitter these days, so maybe let Greta play Greta while the roles of Rupert and Bill could honestly just go to two rabid coyotes that somehow have a voice box attached to them. Eh, maybe feed the coyotes an upper so they can attain the same level of hysteria as Bill and Rupert. I just hope they include this scene for Nicole but take creative liberties and let her left-hook whatever actor is playing Brian Kilmeade (Danny DeVito if anyone is remotely smart!) when this happened:


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